More thoughts on friendships

Warning: This will probably be a long post.
That being said...let's get started.
I have so much I want to blog about...that I keep putting it off. And, now, I'll spill it out! I'm home from church early. I thought the diaper bag went to church with Eli (who went with his PaPaw to help welcome people)...so imagine my surprise when Abi had a poopy during Sunday School and realized we had no diapers! And, no wipes! And, no formula! It was time for us girls to come home.
Ok, back to the blog...
For the past couple of months I've experienced a lot and thought a lot about friends. What is a friend? Who is a friend? What makes me a friend? What type of friend am I? What about "seasonal" friends? What happens when a friendship ends? How do friendships survive life changes? What does the Bible say about all of this? My Wednesday girls and I have been discussing this a lot.
In the immediate past (does that make sense) and present, I have had a friendship run its course and have found several "old" friends (thank you, facebook and blog world). This evokes several emotions, questions, and thoughts.
There are a couple of "old" friends that I've recently connected with that I had thought for a long time "What will it be like to run into x person again?" What will I say? What will I feel? These are people that I had a long friendship with and basically geographical distance and life changes brought the distance. I am old enough to know a life without facebook, blogs, and even frequent emailing. Anyhow. This is not a post about my age!
I remember in my late years of high school and college pondering this "reunion" for a long time. I think it had to do with my young age. Looking back, I thought I had everything planned out for my life. Or at least, if God allowed my plans (at 14, 15, 16) to work out, I'd be super thankful. Oh, the ways of teenagers. I use to talk with a friend of mine about this "reunion" and we talked about all the unanswered questions we had - the why's and how could you's and what did I do's. I use to get all worked up about this. If you know me, I tend to pour myself into friendships (maybe it's the whole MK, transplant childhood) and it doesn't always make sense to me when others don't reciprocate that way. Know what I mean?
Well, the Lord didn't fulfill my plans of 14, 15, and 16. Can I get an AMEN? His ways are so much better! I am thankful for the planning...but am more thankful for my God that determines my steps. Where would we be if we were left to our own plans?
So, since January I have had several of these "reunions." As mentioned before, one of my MK cousins lives less than a mile from me and has been such a God-send as I acclimate to having two kids and being at home. We've had some discussions about our transition out of MK/teenage world into adulthood. How it molded us, as wives, as Mom's, as individuals. And, it's not all pretty. But, we do acknowledge how good God has been.
And, this past week, I've been "reunited"...maybe the better word is "reconnected"...with other past friends. And, I have not had any desire to insist on the answers I did a while ago. This may seem all a bit odd and disjointed. But, in God's perfect timing I am ready to reconnect with these friends. Where we are today. Not based on the past. Not with strings attached to the past. Heavens, I don't want anyone to assume I am the same as I was in my teens. Do you? And, this has all shed light on God's goodness, His mercy, His provision, and His blessings.
I use to be so anxious about reconnecting with them. But, God has given me a total peace. And, in this peace I find more love for my husband, my children, my parents, and my brother...and yes, more love for these past friends.
I look forward to hearing their life stories. It doesn't appear that all has been rosy and easy. I want to hear how they met their spouses, how they chose their careers (much different than our teenage plans), what their favorite memory is, what is their favorite thing about their life now, and most of all, I want to know the difference God has made in their lives. And, I want to be a friend to them. Without strings. Without expectations. Without explanations. Just a good friend.