We had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. My cousin, his wife, and their three kids came up from Dallas. What a treat! We haven't spent quality time with them since probably we had children! We kept the food simple so that we didn't have to spend all our time in the kitchen and let's give God the credit for the miraculous weather! The older boy cousins (plus Chris representing me!) built a tree house for the younger cousins. So fun! And, it kept the kids out of the house and TIRED! A mother's dream! I'll have to find a picture to post of it- it's impressive!
Sunday my Dad preached a wonderful sermon from 1 John 2. In fact, Chris mentioned that it might have been the best sermon he had heard! I sang with Chris on the praise team b/c all his regular peeps were out of town. I wasn't worth much- sometimes when life gets really raw it's hard to praise Jesus with words. Tears seem so much more appropriate. Dad's sermon seemed written for his children and nieces and nephews. He spoke on seeing Jesus as he is, on the throne and we will recognize Him, partly by his scars. And, he will recognize our scars for serving Him. Do you have scars of serving the Lord? Woah. Chris made mention today that we were getting scars for Jesus. I said, "I may not can see them, but I feel every bit of them." Just how life is right now. Anyhow, I feel fortunate that the Lord speaks directly to me, where I am, and in kind, gentle words. It makes the unbearable bearable.
Monday was a good day...until the end of it. Even though we were only 30 minutes away it was still bitter sweet. I was dreading the return to our current life situation- counting pennies for gas money, not glancing at the ever increasing stack of unpaid bills, wondering how long all this is going to hold. On the way home Eli wanted to know (again) about Paul on the road to Damascus. It really is a lovely encounter with Jesus. We talked about how Paul would give testimony that Jesus does make a difference every day! (From VBS.) These talks with the kids has a way of stilling my soul. This simple truth cuts through the confusion and uncertainty. Again, I feel awed that Jesus is so kind to meet me where I am.
We did find a job at a local company that Chris applied for on Monday. We sent a separate email with his resume this morning. A man in our church who is retired from said company called to give a reference...only to find their system had NO record of his application or email! What?! Seriously. However, I am so thankful this man spoke out for Chris- and brought him to their attention. Chris is going to stop by tomorrow morning in-person to deliver his resume!
I also had the pleasure of getting the info from the realtor about our house. Roll eyes here. Basically we would need to sell our home without realtors involved to break even! AHHH! Over seven years in our home! This economy is killing me softly! I then had the pleasure of calling our mortgage company to discuss with them our situation. I was like, "I have never had to have a conversation like this and I'm not even sure what I need to tell you." But, they were kind in hearing me out and were thorough in discussing our options. We are trying our best to stay ahead of the curve, so transparency with the bank is the responsible thing to do. And the hard thing to do. But, I didn't cry nor did my voice quiver! So, I count it a successful day right there!
I have much to do to get our home ready, but it's like the emotional toll of all this makes me lethargic. And to want to eat. Bad combo.
I do want to say that I am thankful that our home is not in danger of flooding or fires. And, we had a wonderful dinner with plenty of food. These facts alone are more than most of the world can say tonight. It is a choice to have a thankful spirit. It is tough work to look for the positive and set ones heart on it. But, what is the alternative?
I told Chris today that I just wanted to vomit, but I couldn't figure out how that would help anything at all. He laughed and agreed. It would only result in bad breath and sore muscles!
I have had two Bible verses stand out to me in the past two days. One just moments before writing this post. It has to do with sobriety. I do not drink at all- but we all have vices we turn to to numb the hurt. I am going to pray about what the Lord is showing me. I already know what it concerns, but it takes a lot of courage to own His word for me and not deflect my attention from it. Obedience to Him is where peace is found. And, oh how I desire to have steadfast peace.
I've written a lot. Perhaps too much. I write to show an honest view of tough times. My life is not full of fun. It is hard. It's like a bad Monday on repeat. We have much to be thankful for and we are! As I changed Caleb's diaper today I looked into his big ole blue eyes and said, "Bubba, when our situation changes everyone will know that it is the Lord's doing and for his glory." And he smiled and we hugged and kissed. There is much to love about this season too!
Enough! I need to get on with what I need to get on with!
Thank you for your prayers for endurance and for Chris' job situation.
1 comment:
GIRL! I SO feel your pain! Ben lost his job in April and got another job only to loose hours because of the economy. We may have to see our home and I had to get a job to pay bills. Praise Jesus I was able to get one but it is very bittersweet. I guess we can't see our scars right now because they are open gashes. We will heal and be stronger for it. Thanks for the comment on my blog- I was very fortunate Glidden paid for me to do that room make over, if we have to sell our home at least THAT room looks good. ;) Hang in there!
www.thebusynothings.com
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