Back at it

Well, I've missed blogging. Don't worry- I've stalked many blogs over the past several months so I'm not completely out of the loop! But, I have missed the creative outlet of blogging. As a blogger wrote a while back, when life gets really hard many things come to either a halt or to a whisper. That's been this past year. Often thoughts and experiences are so deep that there are no words for them, and they are often so personal that to pen them would seem to make light of them. Another blogger also wrote that this has been the hardest year, but also the best year. I feel the exact same. Our home has experienced some wonderful highs, and walked through some very deep lows. But, I can say with certainty that it has been a good year. Early in the year the Lord and I wrestled with some big stuff. And, while excruciating, I'm glad we did. Because I have needed those lessons to walk through the last part of the year.

One of my main draws back to blogging was to offer hope to others. While I am an avid blog stalker, it is something I do have to regulate! I can easily get wrapped up in the lives of other women - going on lunch dates, girls night outs, trips, shopping, doing wonderful crafty things, being creative with their kids, and all the bliss that exists in blog world - and at the end of the day I compare myself to them. It's just the way it is. And, while it is wonderful to experience all those great things, I would often feel less because my life (social, as a mom, as a wife) did not look like any of theirs! Silly, but true.

And, I would dare say that there are many women that have been there too. And, that are having very tough struggles- many that they don't share, that are deeply personal. I am here to blog about the hope Jesus has given me. About the tough times, the lessons learned (and learning), and the glimpses of God's grace/mercy/presence that he bestows on me.

Am I perfect? No. Do I have a lot to learn? Every day. Am I the perfect wife/mom/friend? No. Have I done some things well? I'd like to think so.

Here are just a snippet of verses that could sum up 2010:

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." Proverbs 19:2

"Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, than a fattened calf with hatred." Proverbs 15:17

"Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." Proverbs 14:10

"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:34-35

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free." Psalms 118:5

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalms 86:11

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalms 73:26,28

And a host more, but you're probably not reading anymore anyways!

At the end of the day it still remains true- the Lord has been very good and gracious to me! And, I am forever grateful that He pursues me and loves me deeply!