Thursday, November 20, 2008

Who is writing your story?

There are days when life is just hard. Or, we feel our circumstances make our lives hard. I've been having a few of those days lately. Chris recently began a new job that will eventually have more opportunities, but right now, it's taken about 15 hours of family time at night. This would be hard for any couple - but, on top of it you can add a 16 month old and an 8+ month pregnant wife. It's a miracle if everyone eats something remotely healthy, gets bathed, and has a clean bottle of warm milk. Not to mention the filth of piled high dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and don't even get me started about the last time the floors were vacuumed. So, it's very easy to feel like a single mom (never underestimate the load they carry). Then, there's the day-time drain - work (which is a complete separate issue in itself), making sure there is enough money for gas and milk, trying to figure out how we're going to afford maternity leave AND incremental expenses when I return to work. It's all mentally and physically draining. And, yes, I remember that I am blessed to have a husband come home at all in the evenings. I can't imagine what it would be like to not have a husband or if he were in Iraq for the next several months. I'd probably just move in with my mom and dad and be on some type of medication.
I've been praying about this because I do believe that God has blessed me and it's important to be a thankful and gracious person. My state of mind has a great impact on my ability to be a decent/good wife, mother, friend, and co-worker.
As if on cue, Chris got up with us this morning and woke Eli up, fed him, and dressed him. This was so meaningful. Especially because I haven't had a night of un-interrupted sleep in who knows how long. Plus, Eli thinks his dad is hilarious.
On the way in to work I was listening to Focus on the Family. A lady was sharing about being a mother and she said something that stuck out to me: "let God write your story of motherhood." We create such preconceived notions about what the perfect life should look life and we make plans to meet that ideal. Often we don't leave room for God to write the story. It was a fresh reminder that my story of motherhood doesn't have to look like anyone else's- but it should most definitely be written by God. This is where peace and contentment come from.
As if the Lord were not done opening my eyes, I found a very interesting post on the Belly Chronicle's blog called The Invisible Mother. If you have a few minutes, you should read it. It has given me a different perspective on the work of a mother.
Anyhow, all this to say that being a Mom does get better every day. But, it many ways it gets harder every day. Having the right perspective and attitude at heart (and head) makes the difference.
And, thanks Chris for your help this morning!

1 comment:

Caribbean Cindy said...

That was a great post, Kitty! Loved the article, too, about invisible mothers. We definitely don't do our thing to get credit or recognition - just out of love for those precious little ones that God gives us. You are certainly in a rough place right now. Glad you can count on God's help! Love you!