Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Provision

I know I should blog more, but, it's just not a daily (or weekly) thing right now.

That being said, I don't want to loose the power of the moment. I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. And, trying to figure out the best way to deal with it all. I am poured out over and over again, but not taking the time to fill up.

I must go to the Lord. I must spend dedicated time reading the Bible. I must make an effort to have quiet communication with Jesus. I use the word must, because it's non negotiable. Nothing else helps. Any other attempts just lead to temporary fixes. And, the fixing I need requires more than the temporary. Here's the verse (with my emphasis): "She who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalms 91:1 The key is that it is my choice to dwell or not to dwell. And, I must dwell.

This morning I was talking with the Lord about how I am dealing with feelings of being overwhelmed and underachieving. All.the.time. And, with no end in sight. As I logged on to facebook (to see what optimistic thoughts others have), my cousin had this verse as her status: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I am!" Psalms 61:2 And, I thought, "Yes, that is right where I need to be." Lead me to the Rock. The unshakable Rock. I rested in this verse as I made coffee, made breakfast, answered phone calls, changed diapers, made a grocery list, and loaded the dishwasher. After cleaning up breakfast, I saw the stack of mail from yesterday that hadn't been opened. There was the usual notices about health insurance, a thank-you card, and a letter from Ford. I opened it last. I figured it was a "rebate" for our next new Ford. (No, we're not even close to looking, but it seems to be one of their new marketing plans.) And, low and behold, there was a rebate check from when we got new tires a few months back! It's not a lot, but it's not the amount that matters, it's God timing.

In our revival this week, Dr. RE Clark talked about God's provision. This word means that God has the vision before we see it. God creates the need so that we see His provision.

The dots are connecting faster than I can type. Yes, God has interrupted my life quiet a bit lately. Yes, God has created many needs. And, yes, God is showing me his provision. It's scary to be required to walk by faith (especially if you're a Type A planner). But, seeing God's provision is sweeter than any plan I could put together on my own.

Thank you, Lord, for being my Rock and for being big enough to handle my feelings and my reality. And, for your provision.

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