Monday, November 30, 2009

My Great Awakening

I have a lot I want to write about, so I'll just get started and hope my fingers can keep up with my mind.

One of my favorite books in high school was The Great Awakening. I feel like I'm going thru my own great awakening. Like, that it's finally ok for me to be me again. Like, while being a mom and wife are definitely my roles, I can still be me. And, being me makes me better at those roles.

Here are some examples of things I've done recently that I haven't since I became pregnant with Eli (3 years ago!)...
- Bought a nice pair of boots
- Bought a nice pair of jeans (2 sizes smaller!)
- Got contacts, again (after 1 1/2 years of only wearing glasses)
- Invested in a daily face cleansing system
- Bought a nice pair of panties
- Bought a nice winter coat
- Got modern sunglasses
- Began straightening my hair
...and many more, I'll have to think as I write. And, yes, I do realize most of those include making a purchase. Shallow? Maybe. But, it's a big step for this mother of two young ones.

I've also started running again. My mom (and maybe sister-in-law) and I have decided to train for a half marathon in March. It's a big task ahead. Definitely a God-sized goal. But, I do believe this is the needed scratch to my itch of my great awakening. I use to be much more everything before having children. And, well, I had two within 18 months. I don't want to be the person that wakes up with my kids in school to realize that I've not cared for myself in years. It would be a personal nightmare.
But, I've felt helpless to do anything about it. Some would say, "Enjoy the time with your young ones." Well, this has nothing to do with not enjoying them. I will not be pressured into going to a gym ($ and time issues). For me, my issue is food. And, it's a spiritual battle. Yes, they do exist. And, for me, eating is an obedience to the Lord issue. What am I willing to give up in order to obey Him? Or disobey Him? I want to be a happier, more satisfied and self-confident mom and wife. And, a healthier one. And, an example to my daughter that while being a mom is fantastic, it doesn't mean an end of her own uniqueness.
If you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there with my rambling.
Anyhow, I've ran 3 times in the past week. Which is twice more consecutively since getting pregnant with Eli. And, I felt much stronger today. Ran 3 miles straight! Go me! What I love most about running is that it is all personal me time. I think and pray the whole time. In college, when I ran a lot, I always thought about God's name Emmanuel, which means "God with us." And, I think it is rather applicable while I run. And, now it's Christmas time, so I get to hear lots of Emmanuel while I run. Which, I feel is like my personal encouragement straight from the One.
Back to what I was saying, we had missionaries from Germany speak at our church on Sunday. Ms. Cheryl said something that I have chewed on a lot since then. She said that being called to the African bush (before Germany) was clearly God saying "I don't want your abilities, I want your availability." Stop and re-read that. And, pause. Wow. How my life would change if I lived by this. Daily. Hourly. I thought about this a lot on my run tonight because the goal was to run 3 miles without walking. And, my abilities are still weak. And, it was a beautiful moment of resting in His truth.
And, the other beautiful moment was at about the 2.2 mile mark when the Heart of Worship song came on. As I was relishing in the words of this common song, it was like the Lord was saying, "Yeah, you're worth it. You are worth having this goal. You are worth the prize."
And, that was when I knew that I would make the 3 mile run. And, will make the 13.1 mile run in March. And, that it's ok for me to take this personal time to invest in myself. It's making me a better wife and mom and everything else. And, a big props to Chris for fully supporting me in this endeavor (the whole Great Awakening and the race). He's encouraging and takes over for the kids while I train.
So, I have three goals for this race: 1) Finish 2) Be stronger 3) Run the whole time And, as I ran tonight, those goals changed order. Except for the finish part. That's definitely #1!
Again, if you're still reading, thanks.
All this to say that I'm addicted to this Great Awakening. Of relishing that who God made me to be is something worth pursuing! Oh, the freedom in that realization!
More to come on the training progress. Thankfully, today was a success and tomorrow is a rest day!
And, now it is time for me to go shower!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Things I want to remember

The kids have been so busy being so gosh-darn cute and I want to bottle it all up so I can remember it in a few years. So, here's a meager attempt to recap some of those moments...

While putting up the Christmas tree, Eli ran to his room to get his crocs. He came out and put them on and said that he was now ready to work. His Dad has his crocs on too!

While putting up the Christmas tree, Eli kept saying to Chris, "It's amazing!"

Several times since the tree went up, Eli will say either "Mama made that" or "Daddy made that."

Chris taught Eli to lay under the tree and look at the lights from the bottom. Eli's eyes are wild with fascination.

The kids have been playing fiercely with a quilted nativity set that Chris' mom made a few years back. At night, Eli prays for all the animals in the stable. Oh, and wants to see the water in the camels hump!

Eli and I worked on a Christmas train craft in front of the tree and Eli said, "See Mama's pretty nails." So funny! Where does this come from?!?!

Eli learned how to make Monkey Bread. And, he's a great sampler! Abi learned how much she likes Monkey Bread.

Abi is waving, saying "Mama" and "Dada." She also does the sign for bottle and says "baba."

Eli can pretty much give a recap of the Christmas story. The real one, not the movie.

Eli is crazy about Alvin and the Chipmunks and all things Jingle Bell related.

Christmas light seeing has never been this much fun. Eli will say, "Mama, Daddy, have to go find more Christmas lights" and "Oooh, look at that, look at that, oh my goodness!"

When telling Eli about why Jesus was born and that he lives in my heart, Eli tried to pull my sweatshirt down and said, "Want to see him." The.sweetest.thing.ever.

It's hard to believe that two years ago this Thanksgiving was Eli's first night to eat baby food. It was green beans and sweet potatoes. And, all over the place!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Cousin Time

There is nothing in the whole entire world like cousins. Chris and I are blessed to be close with our cousins and it is a joy to watch Eli and Abi interact with theirs. Tonight the Wood's came over for dinner. {I tried new recipes, check them out at the recipe blog!}

While at the dinner table, Braden said, "Aunt Kitty is cool! Uncle Chris drools!" To which Hunter said, "Uncle Chris, do you know what that means? Drool, like when it comes out of the side of your mouth." HILARIOUS!!!

And, of course, there was plenty of movies and popcorn...