The Great Pursuit

Christmas Eve Morning Thoughts

2011-12-24T04:30:00.000-08:00

My alarm was set for 5:10 this morning. Enough time to get shower and do complete hair and makeup, bake the Cheddar Bread and Eggs Benedict casserole, wake the sleeping kids and get them ready, load the car and arrive at Mimi and Papa's by 8am.
Caleb had earlier plans. He was ready to eat at 4. While I could go back to sleep for about 45 minutes, there was a huge chance (as in, it's happened recently) that I would be just deep enough in REM that I wouldn't be able to get up at the beckoning of my alarm. Thus, throwing off my whole pleasant-Christmas-Eve-morning plan.
I made the most of my extra hour. I scanned facebook and Pinterest- although nothing had happened between 11:30pm and 4:15am. I finished the final 15 minutes of Water for Elephants (it's taken me 3 days to watch the whole movie!). And, most importantly, I invested some time in increasing my knowledge of Him.
The ladies Bible Study I participate in read these verses and I can't get them out of my head:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3

I am forever captivated that the Word of God is in fact the Living Word! He, the Most High whom we celebrate this season, chooses to speak to me in a most personal way. Sometimes in a soft whisper, sometimes with a loud ta-da, often with a sense of affirmation whaling up from the depths of my soul. No doubt the Holy Spirit declaring the Truth with the Word. I am forever in love and forever grateful for Him.

In this season of my life, and I would say for every season I will walk through, I need direction "for life and godliness." The answer is as clear as filtered water- it is through my knowledge of Him! It is a gift he gives and that I must unwrap. A fresh word this early morning when out of the corner of my eye I see twinkling lights, presents with shiny wrappings, 4 loads of laundry needing folding, a table needing cleared off, a bottle needing washed, my favorite winter mug wanting a coffee refill, and family needing stirred- never mind the clock on the bottom right of the screen!
This weekend will be full of lots of "lots" - family, food, gifts, expectations, travel, and little sleep. I pray you will recognize and seize the opportunities given for you to steal away and increase in your knowledge of Him!
Merry Christmas Eve!
Now...on to wake four sets of sleepy blue eyes!

Need new Christmas recipes?

2011-12-23T15:28:00.001-08:00

Check out my recipe blog! I've added lots of new recipes I've enjoyed making these past few weeks!

Merry Baking!

He IS mighty to save!

2011-12-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

This morning in our bed, between his Mom and Dad, Eli asked Jesus to come into his heart and be his Savior.
He is most definitely, without a shadow of a doubt, still saving lives! Words do not describe my gratitude that He would allow me, a very flawed person, to participate in His work.
The details will come soon!

First Snow!

2011-12-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

Well...it isn't much outside. But, it's there! I was up several times last night with Caleb and once when walking past the kitchen I looked through the window and saw huge flakes falling against a backdrop of our neighbor's Christmas lights. It was just so beautiful! The kids, thankfully, slept til 8:20 and then promptly bundled up to head outside. Then, as any good Mom does, we had hot chocolate with marshmallows! Tonight we're having Chicken and Wild Rice Soup (over on the recipe blog in the "Soup" category). It's always eaten to the last drop! Well, here you go...

Desktop Wallpapers

2011-12-03T16:07:00.000-08:00

I found this website from Kate's blog (I like to speak of her as though I know her!). They offer gorgeous wallpapers, with or without a calendar on it. They have fresh ones each month!

Here's what I choose:

Lately

2011-12-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

- Decorating for Christmas
- Planning our church's Women's Christmas Brunch (!!!)
- Staring at my children because they are getting ridiculously big every other minute!
- Fighting hunger on a local level (more on that later)
- Began a new Bible Study at church, When Women Say YES to God
- Reading Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Business Ethics...sorta for fun
- Prepping to assist my mom in teaching Global Ethics and Leadership (master's class...online!)
- Making an awesome no-sew ruffled tree skirt that I found on Pinterest (no surprise)
- Relearning how to use a PC after relying on Chris' Mac for the last few years
-And, obviously, not blogging =)

Ok...here's a friend from college's blog. She is a very talented designer (and Mom of 2 boys), and has great giveaways on her blog! December's giveaway closes on Saturday! Get at it, already!

Pinterest and Pumpkin Pancakes

2011-10-26T08:34:00.000-07:00

Pinterest has made my life crazy. Good crazy. I've seen a pin for pumpkin pancakes no less than 30 times. And, while I love Pinterest, I want to actually DO and enjoy some of the stuff I pin.
For dinner last night, I made pumpkin pancakes. Not the recipe from Pinterest, but one from allrecipes.com. There are lots of recipes out there made possible via Google, but thankfully I enjoy reading recipes. I usually read at least 5 recipes before I decide on one. (With 3 little ones, this is where smart phones are so helpful- I usually read these while giving Caleb his bottle!)
Anyhow, this recipe is easy to follow and it has special touches to it: Beating the egg whites until soft peaks form and making Hot Cider Syrup to serve on top. I don't know why but these things (for me) give a regular dinner a touch of special. (Probably the crazy cook inside of me!)
Check out the recipe on my recipe blog...and make them soon! I guarantee it will be a treat for your family and friends!
***No pics b/c everyone ate them up FAST!***

Rollie Pollie

2011-10-11T15:37:00.001-07:00

However you spell it, Caleb is rolling everywhere!

Blogging from my phone!

2011-10-09T19:49:00.001-07:00

I know many of you have been doing this for years- I definitely am not a first mover with technology. But! I think this could be fun!!!

So here is a conversation between Eli and my cousin:
Rebekah: You're funny.
Eli: No, you're funny.
R: You're funny looking.
E: You're funny looking.
R: You're Mama is funny looking.
E (laughing): Yeah, she definitely is!

New Favorite Blog!

2011-10-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my friends at Pinterest I have a new favorite blog!
Kate is a hair stylist in Raleigh, North Carolina. Her blog has the best videos about hair! And, I do love her hair! She also blogs about jewelry and recipes (and her cats, but I don't read those!). Anyhow, here is a picture of Kate and a link to her blog! Enjoy!

Believing God

2011-09-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

Oh, I do love the Believing God Bible Study I'm in! I always leaving wondering, "Why isn't everyone in a Bible Study?!" I love the pursuit of learning and encouragement I get from the other ladies.
In Tuesday's video session, Beth said this, "The enemy watches us and finds out what we fear we are most and sets out to confirm it." You may have to read that a few times. This morning on facebook Lysa TerKeurst wrote, "A moment of conflict handled the right way is hands down one of the greatest ways to shame Satan back to hell."
Today was a tough milestone. It was the kids last day at their pre-school. I have not looked forward to this for a few weeks now. I've tried to prepare the kids (Eli thinks he's going to college!) and even more so, to prepare myself. A day without structure is often a not.very.good parenting day. Know what I mean? I want to keep the learning going so I'm contemplating (more mental at this point) pre-homeschool material and plans for our days at home.
Anyhow, I can relate to Beth's comment about what we fear we are most. For me, it's a not very good Mom. I don't know why because I know I'm not the worst Mom out there, but it's a tough world I'm probably my own worst critic. Or, Satan wants me to be my own worst critic.
Back to this morning. We did a pretty good job getting ourselves together in a timely manner. I made mention to someone that today was my last day of freedom to do what I wanted for a few hours. And, there response was, "Yeah, you'll actually have to watch your kids now." Salt to a fresh wound. On a scale of 1 to 10, my response was probably a 3. My internal response was a 10. Thus the cycle of critical thoughts about myself and my mothering.
Hold.the.phone.
"We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor 10:5
And, I recited my points from the Bible Study: In God's love I am blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven! And, I'm believing God!!!
I don't believe this person's comment was meant as spiteful, but they still hurt. I spoke with this person a bit later and this person had obviously not given second thought to their comment. Which, on contrast, I have.
But. I have not spent the day wallowing in my fears of my mothering skills. I firmly believe in forgiveness - asking for it and extending it to others. One of my main parenting principals. I will not do everything perfect. We will have rough days. All I know is to hug it out- literally.
So, in summary, do what you have to do to be able to discern truth from fiction. Know what the Lord, your kinsmen redeemer, has to say about you. And, Believe God!
{Also, if you happen to see or talk with a Mom, please share an encouraging word or complement her!}

Southern Belle's Heart the Hogs!!!

2011-09-24T11:24:00.000-07:00

For years (not exaggerating!) my cousin and I have not been able to find Razorback shirts made by Southern Belle. We have had to endure our family members sporting their LSU shirts for ages. The streak ended today!!! Praise the Lord, Hibbett Sports in NWA carries Southern Belle shirts - including Razorback ones!!! I'm pretty sure the sales people at the store in Siloam got quiet the kick out of our giddiness (Abi's included!)!

So, today, as the Hogs take on the Tide, I will be wearing this beauty:

Is there a better slogan for a Hogs tee??? So.in.love.with.my.find!

WOO PIG SOOIE!

Check out the Southern Belle's website and let me know which is your favorite! I have several and always room for more!

The good stuff...Part 2

2011-09-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

This post is a testimony of God's touch on my life.
Although the Lord was ever kind in sharing with me in Lamentations 3 I had to have some tough conversations with others. Due to life's circumstances we are having to withdraw our kids from their preschool. Ahhh...cuts me to the core. But, I swallow, remember the verses about the Lord being my portion and waiting on Him. And, I press on. Chris was kind to cancel his plans for that evening so I could attend the Bible Study.
So, I show up to the study with 25 other women I've never seen before in my life. I looked around at the workbooks of the ladies nearest me (yes, I am that person!) and was in awe of the depth of care they put into their study. Highlighted portions, notes scribbled in the margin...and I thanked the Lord for bringing me there among Jesus Seekers. Right where I was suppose to be.
I soaked up their testimonies of what they had learned the past week. The leader did an excellent job at engaging the women, stretching our thoughts.
The video introduced week 4 - Believing You Are Who God Says You Are. Another area of my life I continue to go before the Lord with. Beth said some key things that I want to high light. 1) A season of sifting does not necessarily mean you are walking in sin. What a breath of freshness. Chris and I were like, "Show us the unrepented sin and we will repent!" It was God's kindness to show that sifting does not always associate with sin- but, God does have a place for us to go with Him...and somethings just can't come along on the journey! 2) Obedience comes from faith. This is ever true, but one of the hardest truth's to apply. All I know to do is to continue doing what God has said in his Word. To obey, to be faithful, to praise, to trust, etc. It is by faith in Him that makes obedience possible.
She spent a good portion talking about righteousness (and this is where it get's GOOD!!!). Righteousness was always a "thing" that seemed so lofty, foreign. Like, "Be Holy." She shared out of Romans 4:3, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness." Every time we believe God over our circumstance/emotion/reality, it is credited to us as righteousness. Ohhhhh. Verses 7-8 discuss the forgiveness of our willful and planned sin, along with sin in general and that the Lord does not count it against us. The terms used "count" and "credited" have their roots in accounting (I'm tuned in b/c of my love for all things business!)- God is not calculating backwards (our sins), but calculates forward based on our opportunities to believe Him. So...why is this so enlightening? Here are verses 4 and 5:

"Now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness."

I about had to get up and immediately rush home to tell Chris. Did you see it? To the man who does not work but trusts God it is credited as righteousness. Chris later said, "We are busting the bank!" This is the Living Word. This is the sweet stuff. As I lovingly say, the hot-pink butter cream icing stuff! Just better than what we knew as best! And, in a room full of strangers I am quickly full of the Spirit- aware of His presence. Thankful for His encouragement. And, oh, how I longed to share it with my man- to encourage him. In fact, I got all teary eyed (for the 6th time that day...at least!) sharing with Chris God's very Word for us. So sweet.

Yesterday, Wednesday, September 21 - WAIT - time out...if you recall from my previous posts, Chris had an interview on Tuesday with AT&T. He said it went really well, but we have been down that path before. He said they would let him know on Friday. So, we arrived at church early. I was in the kitchen sharing with Ms. Gwin (a beloved Jesus Seeker who encourages me so) about the study the night before. As I was twirling about (seriously giddy with God's revelation), Chris stepped in the kitchen door and smiled big, "I GOT THE JOB! HE JUST TOLD ME!" WHAT?!?!?! We had a precious precious strong hug. One where I'm sure it looked ordinary to all the on-lookers (all 5 of them), but to us was wrapped up in years of prayers.
Brandon (read previous posts to find out about him) stopped by the daycare to pick his son up and saw Chris. He said, "Well, congratulations! I was going to wait until tomorrow to call you, but I thought I'd go ahead and let you know now." I later asked Chris what he thought when Brandon told him that and he said, "Seriously? Thank you." And he said he felt like he could finally rest, that he had been so tired. Ah. Brings tears to my eyes as I type this. We just never really know how things affect our spouses.
I immediately called my parents who were out of town on a trip. They were elated. The next two phone calls were to two of my best friends in the whole wide world. The first I had to leave a message, filled with tears. The second, I got to talk with my sweet friend and we laughed through tears at God's goodness. This, dear readers, is true friendship. These girls have prayed for me, their husbands have prayed for mine, they have spoken Truth to me and over me, they have texted me encouragement at the Spirit's prompting, and they have allowed me to be a crazy mess on the phone. It is by God's grace they would even answer their phones when I call!
The Lord is so kind to allow this good news to be heard at our church. Our church body has prayed along side us for a very.long.time. Men in our church have cried (literally) before the Lord, asking for work for Chris, to honor his service to Him. To honor his desire to provide for his family. During the past two years Chris has surrendered to ministry- and he serves as our minister of music and youth. His heart is for ministry to be full time, but that is not the Lord's will at this time. A big hurdle to finding a non 8-5, M-F job was his need to be available on Sundays and preferably Wednesday nights. The Lord has heard his heart. So, it is just another opportunity to give Him praise all around! Our church body rejoiced and cried alongside us as we shared this great news!
Because everyone has other things to do than read these many posts (for instance, I would like to shower before getting the kids at school...and just saw the time and that will not happen!) I want to honor some key people.
Our parents have showed their love and support to us in different ways. But, they have all prayed for us and allowed me to get endless amounts of toilet paper and paper towels from their homes. (It's expensive people! Especially to the unemployed!)
Our brothers and sisters and their families have been ever kind to us. Giving us room to be ourselves and giving us opportunities to laugh. They have also been so good to our children. When we have not had money to buy them things or take them to fun places, they have stepped in. It has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.
Our extended family and friends - your prayers have sustained us like no other. I know what it means to be out of words and out of groanings before the Lord. Knowing there were prayer warriors standing in the gap for me is priceless.
Our children who love us unconditionally. They have endured their crazy mother. Their mother who loves them dearly. A friend, mentioned before, told me that if at the end of this we loose everything but still have our marriage and family in tact, then we have gained it all. I have not once lost perspective on that. I trust our children have seen God's hand throughout this. In fact, I will close with their sweetness and their life verses...
I had the kids gather together and pray for Chris and his interview on Tuesday. Last night when we got home and settled in our pj's, we huddled together on the floor and prayed to thank the Lord for his favor on their Daddy. Eli prayed, "Thank you Lord for my Daddy. Thank you for being kind to him. Amen." From the mouth of babes...
"Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Ps 150:6- Eli
"Every word of God proves true, He is a shield to those who seek refuge in him." Prov 30:5- Abi
"But, as for me, it is good to be near God." Ps 73:28- Caleb
"God has been very good to me." Gen 33:11- Osmon family verse
Thank you Jesus for turning towards me. Hearing our prayers. To You be all the glory.
Blessings...

The good stuff...Part 1

2011-09-22T10:13:00.000-07:00

This post is a testimony of God's goodness.
As mentioned in Back Story Part 1, I was in a tough spot with my walk with the Lord. For the past week I felt a tug to get back into a Bible Study. I was praying for the Lord's direction and affirmation. With having three little ones I am striving to be very intentional with my time commitments. I get great ideas, but sometimes they're meant to be just that: ideas. I wrestled with offering a study at our church, but to be honest, I just don't have the strength to be a leader at this phase of my life.
Tuesday morning (9/20/11) I had a strong tug to get in the Word. Strong. Like, how fast can I get there? kind of feeling. And, I know better than to mess with that. When the Lord prompts, I am to respond immediately. I had to take the kids to school, but I was meeting my Mom for lunch later that day- and I didn't have enough gas to drive back and forth to home/lunch/school and whatever else I needed to do this week. So, Caleb and I were going to hang out at my in-laws (a central location)- I had my Bible, a Bible Study book, my pen. I was ready. Only as I drove in to their neighborhood I saw both my brother-in-law and mother-in-laws cars in the driveway. What? (Oh, sorry if you're reading this. Nothing personal, just needed quietness before the Lord.) I shook my head with aggravation because my life motto had become "Nothing is easy." Here it was, yet again. (Oh, later to find out my brother-in-law got his braces off which is why he wasn't in school and my MIL was not at work!) So, Caleb and I drove home. I sat on the floor of my room, in a corner, a place where the Lord was kind enough to meet me a few weeks back. I opened my Bible to Lamentations 3. Not sure I've ever on-my-own gone there. But again, the Lord was prompting. Here is a glimpse of what Jeremiah had to say:

"He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long. He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. he has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead. He has walled me in so I cannot escape." (2-7)

Oh, such sweet words of comfort for me. The Lord was showing me, ever so kindly, that He knew exactly where I was - just as he did with his profit Jeremiah. Keep reading!

"I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" (19-24)

I had to shut my eyes and stop for a moment of sincere gratitude. Here is the pattern again, to remember and acknowledge the situation, but to bring glory to Him and acknowledge who He is. These Truth's have had to be washed over me many times. I have had to marinate in them- over and over again. I swallowed hard and agreed, "The Lord IS my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Ah, the sweetness of God's goodness. His Living Word made available as Bread to nourish me, His child.

On my way to lunch with my Mom I called some local churches to inquire about their women's Bible Studies. I shared with Mom my intention to go to Beth Moore's Believing God study at FBC Centerton. They were already a couple of weeks into it, but it is what it is.

While at lunch I shared with my Mom about Lamentations 3. And another verse in Lamentations that I will blog about later b/c it's so amazing. She was very kind to share affirming words and Words. Sometimes I feel bad that my mom has to hear about my crazy life (although we live it before them), but she does do her best to listen and commits to pray for our family. Again, not perfect, but desiring us to know Him more and to trust Him more. Man, have we had the opportunity!

One.more.blog.post.

Back Story - Part 2

2011-09-22T09:23:00.000-07:00

This post is a testimony of the Lord's perfect timing.
Back story: We, Chris and I, have experienced every sort of crazy job-hunting scenario there ever was. There was this one job that his old manager was hiring for. He was one of two of over 70 applicants that had the experience and training required. And, he still had a good relationship with this manager. After a couple of months of wishy-washiness (my blog, my words!) the company decided not to hire for that position, although the manager strongly advised her director otherwise. There was this other job that was the EXACT type of work Chris use to do before, but would come with greater responsibility over a team, etc. After three interviews and a plan to have a decision within three days...NO WORD AT ALL. Chris was kind to wait a week before calling the HR Rep and left a message. No reply. Called a week later and sent an email. No reply. Such poor behavior by a company. There was also a job at a company near our church that did not ever receive Chris' online application or emails with his resume. A retired worker and church member did reach out to HR to offer a recommendation and reference of Chris' character - something that was so kind of him to do. But no word from them.
These are three of a long string of crazy situations. This stuff really gets a man down. Shakes his confidence. Makes all sorts of questions (that have no answers) to be pondered.
We had prayed all along that God would very clearly open doors and close doors. No trickery or confusion. So, although we were aghast at what was going on we choose to believe God for what is best. So hard, but so essential to having peace.
More back story: Our church has a daycare on-site and a little over a week ago someone was mowing and threw a rock up and shattered one of the teacher's windshield. While my dad was talking to her spouse, he inquired about his job and such. Brandon mentioned that he is a regional sales VP for a chain of AT&T stores and that he was having a hard time keeping a good staff at their Bentonville location. Quickly, my dad said something like, "Well sure I know someone who would be a good person for that position." Chris emailed Brandon his resume, had to wait a week while he traveled, and had an interview on Tuesday.
Side step: I read something on line the other day that said, "People often miss the silver lining because they're looking for gold." I wondered if that meant anything in my life. Gold = 8-5, M-F with lots of pay. Silver-lining = still God's provision.

Back Story - Part 1

2011-09-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

This post is a testimony of God's kindness.
Back story: The past month (at least) has been an excruciating time in regards to my walk with the Lord. The culmination of a long journey of unemployment and its effects on us, personally and collectively as a family. It is as though the Lord was saying, "You like XYZ? You enjoy XYZ? Hand it over." I have had to have conversations with our bank, our mortgage provider, our children's preschool, and several government agencies that I had never dreamed of having. There is an emotional toll that comes with submitting to the Lord. The discipline of trusting Him, re-directing my heart and thoughts to Him, and honoring Him despite my natural instincts to throw my hands up, scream, and have a pity party - is flat out exhausting and hard. Not that I have a perfect record over the past two years, but I would like to believe the journey has shaped me to reflect Him better. I have discovered/decided that there is no other way to be before the Lord than to be honest. In my case, to share with Him how raw I felt. I took/take great comfort in the cries of David in Psalms and the pleas of Jeremiah in Lamentations. And, if they could say their heart before the Lord and it make it in the Bible, then I can be transparent before Him too! Not questioning His sovereignty, but being honest before Him. David and Jeremiah always ended their cries with praise and affirmation of who He is - and I did my best to follow in their footsteps.
Back to my state of being during this time...when I thought of Jesus, I could see Him near me, but his back was turned to me. I knew He loved me, but I did not see his goodness towards me. (Listen, I know that even through all this I have much to be thankful for. And, in deed I am. This is an effort of a mere imperfect person sharing how the One perfect person met me where I was in my time of need.) My scariest thought was just how low he would take me before turning towards me again. Not pretty, is it? I had a very deep desire for Him to speak, to show me relief. Our church hosted Beth Moore's simulcast a few weeks ago and here was my challenge- if I really wanted to hear from the Lord then I was going to have to submit my frustrations/longings/angst to Him and LET Him touch me. That's hard because some days I felt as though I had the right to be mad. I was walking back to my seat and Beth said, "When you think that God is not good, know that He is great." Do what?! Did I just hear her say what I thought she said?! I quickly captured that in my Bible- numb that she just addressed (all the way in Lubbock, TX) exactly what I had been struggling with. She also said, "In your darkest moment you may be in the cleft of the Rock and He is hiding you there with his hand." Another hard Truth to allow to penetrate my weary soul.
I share all this because you too may have a weary soul. Keep reading...the good stuff is soon to come!

For Sale!

2011-09-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

I need to write a couple of posts about last week, but for now, what's big is that as of today our house is officially FOR SALE! The tips of my fingers are well worn due to pulling weeds, Magic-Erasing (is that a task?), touching up paint, and who knows what else!
We are not using a Realtor, although we would definitely welcome and honor a buyer's Realtor. Since we are FSBO, please consider mentioning our house to anyone you may know looking to purchase in the Centerton or west Bentonville area. There is more information and photos at the house's blog. (Hey, it's a free service!)
Thanks again for praying for a timely sale and for passing the word along!

Is it Monday?

2011-09-06T17:52:00.001-07:00

Mercy! It sure feels like it! What a day! I'm emotionally and physically exhausted! Wait. I didn't exercise though! Folding all the laundry will have to count!
We had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. My cousin, his wife, and their three kids came up from Dallas. What a treat! We haven't spent quality time with them since probably we had children! We kept the food simple so that we didn't have to spend all our time in the kitchen and let's give God the credit for the miraculous weather! The older boy cousins (plus Chris representing me!) built a tree house for the younger cousins. So fun! And, it kept the kids out of the house and TIRED! A mother's dream! I'll have to find a picture to post of it- it's impressive!
Sunday my Dad preached a wonderful sermon from 1 John 2. In fact, Chris mentioned that it might have been the best sermon he had heard! I sang with Chris on the praise team b/c all his regular peeps were out of town. I wasn't worth much- sometimes when life gets really raw it's hard to praise Jesus with words. Tears seem so much more appropriate. Dad's sermon seemed written for his children and nieces and nephews. He spoke on seeing Jesus as he is, on the throne and we will recognize Him, partly by his scars. And, he will recognize our scars for serving Him. Do you have scars of serving the Lord? Woah. Chris made mention today that we were getting scars for Jesus. I said, "I may not can see them, but I feel every bit of them." Just how life is right now. Anyhow, I feel fortunate that the Lord speaks directly to me, where I am, and in kind, gentle words. It makes the unbearable bearable.
Monday was a good day...until the end of it. Even though we were only 30 minutes away it was still bitter sweet. I was dreading the return to our current life situation- counting pennies for gas money, not glancing at the ever increasing stack of unpaid bills, wondering how long all this is going to hold. On the way home Eli wanted to know (again) about Paul on the road to Damascus. It really is a lovely encounter with Jesus. We talked about how Paul would give testimony that Jesus does make a difference every day! (From VBS.) These talks with the kids has a way of stilling my soul. This simple truth cuts through the confusion and uncertainty. Again, I feel awed that Jesus is so kind to meet me where I am.
We did find a job at a local company that Chris applied for on Monday. We sent a separate email with his resume this morning. A man in our church who is retired from said company called to give a reference...only to find their system had NO record of his application or email! What?! Seriously. However, I am so thankful this man spoke out for Chris- and brought him to their attention. Chris is going to stop by tomorrow morning in-person to deliver his resume!
I also had the pleasure of getting the info from the realtor about our house. Roll eyes here. Basically we would need to sell our home without realtors involved to break even! AHHH! Over seven years in our home! This economy is killing me softly! I then had the pleasure of calling our mortgage company to discuss with them our situation. I was like, "I have never had to have a conversation like this and I'm not even sure what I need to tell you." But, they were kind in hearing me out and were thorough in discussing our options. We are trying our best to stay ahead of the curve, so transparency with the bank is the responsible thing to do. And the hard thing to do. But, I didn't cry nor did my voice quiver! So, I count it a successful day right there!
I have much to do to get our home ready, but it's like the emotional toll of all this makes me lethargic. And to want to eat. Bad combo.
I do want to say that I am thankful that our home is not in danger of flooding or fires. And, we had a wonderful dinner with plenty of food. These facts alone are more than most of the world can say tonight. It is a choice to have a thankful spirit. It is tough work to look for the positive and set ones heart on it. But, what is the alternative?
I told Chris today that I just wanted to vomit, but I couldn't figure out how that would help anything at all. He laughed and agreed. It would only result in bad breath and sore muscles!
I have had two Bible verses stand out to me in the past two days. One just moments before writing this post. It has to do with sobriety. I do not drink at all- but we all have vices we turn to to numb the hurt. I am going to pray about what the Lord is showing me. I already know what it concerns, but it takes a lot of courage to own His word for me and not deflect my attention from it. Obedience to Him is where peace is found. And, oh how I desire to have steadfast peace.
I've written a lot. Perhaps too much. I write to show an honest view of tough times. My life is not full of fun. It is hard. It's like a bad Monday on repeat. We have much to be thankful for and we are! As I changed Caleb's diaper today I looked into his big ole blue eyes and said, "Bubba, when our situation changes everyone will know that it is the Lord's doing and for his glory." And he smiled and we hugged and kissed. There is much to love about this season too!
Enough! I need to get on with what I need to get on with!
Thank you for your prayers for endurance and for Chris' job situation.

‎"A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end," -Jesus Lives.

Amen.

The house

2011-09-01T09:27:00.001-07:00

I'm going to try and make myself write more- even if it's just a short note about the days events.
Our next step on this roller-coaster ride of life we're on, is to sell our house. {I'm working to not refer to it as "our home."} The Lord has allowed us to stay in our home, err, this house during this time, but it is time to sell. We are not near foreclosure and would prefer to stay that way. After I made an appointment with the Realtor I looked at Caleb and said, "It's only material possessions. It's only material possessions." And, he agreed. At least in spirit!
There are many more questions than we have answers to. I do not know how much more the Lord will require of us. But, He allowed us to have this shelter to begin with and He will provide for us in the next phase.
When I get overwhelmed with all the decisions and emotions of it all I find myself saying, "Just do the next thing. The one next thing." Often that's just washing up the bottles. Or changing the clothes in the washer. Or taking a shower. Just the one next thing.
Please be in prayer for our family. As mentioned, there are not near enough answers for the questions we are asking. We are blessed with health and a joyful family. Please pray for a buyer for our home (err!) (quickly!) and for arrangements for where we'll call home next. I would also covet your prayers for my emotional well-being. It is tough and when it gets tough my levels of patience and kindness tend to dry up! Which makes for a tough time on everyone around me. And, really, all I want to do is hold my children close to me. That those moments, not the irrational ones, would be what they remember about their Mom.
Speaking of, it's time to go pick up some! Any tips on keeping a house tidy with a 4 year old, 2 3/4 year old, and 3 month old?!?!?! Praise the Lord no animals are involved!

Here's a slideshow we made a while back when we tried to sell last...

Create your own free picture slideshow

A mother's threat...

2011-08-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

is about the only thing that can get me to update my blog. Sigh. I am a bad blogger. I think about it daily. I write great posts in my mind. But, the discipline to actually flesh out a post or two obviously is a thorn in my side! I have high hopes for blogging...but I don't know...sometimes it's easier to spectate than participate! And, so is life.

I am in a sweet season of life. We are still at just over 25 months of Chris not having a steady job. It's been a long 25 months. But, the Lord is our provider and he is faithful. I read this on facebook today...

‎"Why has God placed your feet upon the pathway that you are now walking? Why has He sent others on pathways that appear to be brighter, easier, or more glamorous than yours? The truth is God has you on the perfect path for your life. There is a God-ordained purpose for each step you take. His purpose is to lead your life on a course that will most glorify Him."

Most of this journey has been about my relationship with the Lord. Do I trust that He is good? That He indeed has the best plans for me? That He is aware of the pain I experience? That I'm ok with where I am because it's where He wants me to be? That He knows right where I am and sees around the horizon?

I am determined to be able to share with Eli, Abi Jean, and Caleb that during this very lengthy stretch of time that I believed that God has me on the perfect path for my life and there is a God-ordained purpose for each step that I take. Ultimately, my desire is for my life course to glorify Him. Not that I made perfect decisions and always had the perfect attitude...but that I can say with all my heart that I am closer to the One than I would have been any other way.

Ok, so back to what else is going on...
The kids are thriving and growing like crazy! Eli and Abi started back at their pre-school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They love their school! As does their mother! Caleb has started smiling and cooing at us. Steals my heart every time!

And because food is always important, I tried a new recipe tonight with this:

Crock Pot + 4 chicken breasts + 2 Tbsp of this deliciousness + 1 can cream of mushroom soup + a touch of oil + salt and pepper + 4 hours on low = a wonderful entree to serve over rice!

I've also started doing some intentional physical exercise (other than picking up items my children leave throughout the house). I really like doing this:

I'm also gearing up for the upcoming Beth Moore Live Simulcast on Sept 10. This will be our church's second year to participate as a host church. I love Beth! My life has been challenged and shaped by her ministry. Plus, she makes being a Jesus seeker very fun- no apologizing for Starbucks, shopping, Mexican food, highlights, and anything pink! But, I also always deal with a great deal of angst before the simulcast. Has word gotten out? Is there anything more we could do? Why, oh why, doesn't every lady make this a priority? Do they know what they could gain?!?! And, so on. It's another phenomenal opportunity to keep me praying and relying on Him.

Well...the kids are hovering next to me. Antsy little things! It's bed time and I'm trying to hold out long enough for Chris to tuck them in! It's a rather easy exchange...I'll be bathing Caleb and feeding him. And then, an attempt to work out tonight before bed.

My final thought: I am ready for fall. I have been burning fall/winter scented candles and reviewing chili/soup recipes. In fact, I'm making an apple pie this weekend. Why? Because it just sounds warm and wonderful!

Last thought: Woo Pig Sooie!

Life verses this week

2011-06-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

We're all adjusting to life as a family of five. The Lord has clearly given me a gift in my sweet son Caleb. Obviously, I feel that way about Eli and Abi Jean- but Caleb is a wonderful baby that is so sweet, laid back, and snuggly! The kids love him! Abi stood by him in his car seat the other day and proclaimed to Eli, "He is my best friend!" To which Eli replied, "No, he is my best friend!" A glimpse into brother/sister rivalry...but very sweet to already have a close bond with Caleb.
I wanted to note a few verses that have been like bread to me- nourishment directly from the hand of God. There are many areas of my life that are rich and full of blessing. There are also many areas of my life that are like a very dry and barren desert. That, truthfully, are too hard for words to be spoken. Or even prayers to be uttered. It is here where I find God's Word to be most precious. If there is ever a time to plant scripture in your heart, it is today because you never know when that is all you will have to comfort you.
"But as for me, it is good to be near God." - Psalms 73:28 (Caleb's life verse)
"Praise God, who has not rejected my prayer nor withheld his love from me." - Psalms 66:20
"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." - 2 Chronicles 20:17
"Therefore He is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because he always lives to intercede for them." - Hebrews 7:25
And, of course, there is our family's verse - "God has been very good to me." - Genesis 33:11

Brothers?

2011-05-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

Eli and Caleb...

Caleb Christopher Osmon

2011-05-30T08:32:00.001-07:00

Caleb Christopher Osmon - May 25 - 10:22am - 19 3/4 inches - Healthy as can be! -

Big brother and big sister got special arm bands (Kudos to Dr. Gorman for hooking us up!)-

So thankful for the best delivery ever!

May 29 - My 30th birthday! Spent it with my family-

Easter and Such

2011-05-05T09:26:00.000-07:00

Above: this is how we found the kids sleeping a few weeks ago! They remind me of how puppies snuggle together!

Checking out Easter goodies!

All dressed for church! Or, as Eli kept saying, "It's suit day!!!"

The family (after lunch):

Me at 36 1/2 weeks...

The kids and I went to Bark for the Cure to check out the dogs. They were very impressed with the free TCBY and the song "Who Let the Dogs Out."

They also liked wearing the bandannas (mainly given to the dogs!) and checking out Petsmart afterwards (where they STILL think the white mice were rabbits...???)
Other than that, we're in full swing getting ready for Caleb! We're within the two week window! Chris has been so good about getting the crib and bedding done. We've got the car seat...it'll probably go in the Expedition once we're at the hospital! Our bags are 80% packed, snack bag is 100% packed! We are participating this weekend in a big neighborhood garage sale to raise funds to help cover our labor and delivery expenses. But, right now it's my nap time! {I always do my best to nap when the kids are at preschool!!!}

Life lately via pics

2011-04-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

Laughing at each other...

Playing baseball with Uncle Micah...

Going to the Natural's season opener...

At the Diaper Drop for Caleb (34 1/2 weeks!)...

Being a big girl all dressed up for the party...

Watched Uncle Kyle in The Jungle Book at RHS...

Making bunny masks {Very entertaining for toddlers!}...
Lots of family time {outside if at all possible}! Very blessed this season of our lives!

Being fussy with God

2011-03-15T09:44:00.000-07:00

This morning while taking the kids to preschool Eli said, "Mom, I don't want to be fussy with God." Which led to a deep discussion on how we can always trust what God tells us in the Bible, on how Goliath and Pharoah were probably in hell, on how Eli doesn't want to go to hell so he can meet his brother Caleb, and on how we need to tell everyone that Jesus loves them so they don't go to hell. And...lots of thinking on my behalf of my 3 1/2 year old's initial comment.

In a typical college-paper-writing move, I looked up Webster's definition of fussy:

-easily upset, irritable, revealing a sometimes extreme concern

-Synonyms: crabby, cranky, grouchy, grumpy, querulous

-Anytonyms: forbearing, long-suffering, patient, tolerant, uncomplaining

Lately, everything I'm studying (Sunday School- 1 Peter, Bible study- Hebrews, Ephesians, personal reading) is about believing God. Not believing in God or believing about God- but, believing God. In the good seasons and in the tough seasons.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Heb 12:2-3

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Heb 10:23

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded." Heb 10:35

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"Now to him who is able to do {for you} exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all that we can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trails." 1 Peter 1:6

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:13

And, I really could go on and on and on of the verses where God specifically commands/expects his children to trust him, to be steadfast, to give thanks, to seek him, and to believe him. Isn't being fussy with God the same as not trusting him?

As a mom, I am easily annoyed to a fault when my kids are fussy with me. Seriously- there's nothing life-threatening about their situation nor do they have any dire need/concern. They're just fussy. And, it.drives.me.mad.

Fussiness is a reflection of discontentment and aggravation and unthankfulness. Sometimes to provoke a querrel. Sometimes to just see if one can get attention.

But, is that how I want God to feel about Kitty Osmon?

The very antonyms of "fussy" reveal the character of God himself. {And, honestly, the way I would prefer my children describe their mother.} Does my attitude towards God reflect belief? Are His commands in the Word enough for me? Or...do I just want to be fussy with Him?

My little boy is wise beyond his years. His mother would be wise to heed his words.

Things to do when I grow up

2011-03-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

Go on vacation with my husband.

Ice sugar cookies with royal icing.

Sew and be crafty at a decent technique level.

Have a lovely backyard, with room for entertaining.

All about Caleb

2011-03-08T12:56:00.000-08:00

Honestly, I write really good posts...in my head. I just can't seem to find the time or make the time to hash out anything semi interesting. But, I am taking advantage of this rare opportunity and going for it!

I'm right at 30 weeks pregnant with Caleb! What?! It's true that with #3 he just gets leftovers. He'll be using his brother's bedding and the crib both kids used. And, nursery? Right, well, it's really the play room now...just with a crib in it! It'll still be some time before he's spending all night in there anyways! But, as time has flown by and now his knees and elbows poke and prod me, he is getting more of our attention. Which makes us more excited as we realize we'll get to meet this blessing sooner rather than later!

We think the kids think he's going to be born ready to play with them. I sure hope their enthusiasm for him holds up when then realize all he does is eat, sleep, and make dirty diapers!

Here's what we've been up to in regards to Mr. Caleb:

-Scheduled maternity pictures

-Discussed newborn pictures (Razorback themed!)

-Scheduled Mama's hair appointment pre-delivery (possibly the most important)

-Created registeries at Target and WalMart (amazing how short they are on the 3rd go-round)

-Purchased coming home outfit

-Purchased a few outfits and gowns

-Moved Abi's clothes out of the Hoosier hutch to make room for Caleb's

-Have showers in the next few weeks (think diapers everyone!)

I can't really decide/remember when I need to get my bag ready. Oh, which reminds me that I did find a robe at Target this morning that I'm going to purchase for the hospital. That's fun (or to me it is!). We also need to get Eli's newborn stuff out of the attic. We'll see when that happens.

Here are a few pics to enjoy...

A blanket I found on etsy that my mother-in-law is going to take a go at:

A beanie my sister-in-law found on etsy. I'm going to contact a church friend to see about crocheting a similar one:
And...Caleb at 7 months in utero!

SNOW!

2011-02-09T08:15:00.000-08:00

To say we've had a record winter would be an understatement (over 12 inches last week). And, yesterday I was over the winter weather. Today, we have a record and whopping 24 inches (and still snowing!) and I love it! There is something so beautiful about falling snow and how it blankets everything. A visible reminder of salvation:

“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool. " Isaiah 1:18

I love that the Lord wants us to reason with Him. We see who we really are when we come face to face with Him. Oh, but He is gracious enough to cleanse us! Anyhow, that's what all this whiteness reminds me of!

Cabin fever usually leads me to the kitchen. Today I made banana fritters for my snow bunnies. If I may say so myself, they were delicious and hit the spot!

Out the front door around 8am- all the bushes are already covered!

You can see little peaks where our outdoor lights are. This is several hours ago- the Expedition's tires are totally covered now.

Back yard at 8am. Now the snow on the bench is up with the table top!

We do really live in the South.

Chris measured this at 10am- still snowing though. He said it's too much snow when it pours over into his knee-high hunting boots!

Jesus, Draw Me Close

2011-02-07T04:05:00.000-08:00

Well, there is much to blog about, but my re-commitment to blogging is about keeping it real. So, there are some very specific thoughts to digest this early Monday morning.
All the snow last week and being cooped up definitely produces a rough dose of cabin fever and emotional roller coasters. Well, maybe that last part has to do with being 6 1/2 months pregnant, but none the less it has been our reality.
I received two very difficult pieces of news last week that have been very hard for me to process. First, an old friend that served as a journeyman (2 year) missionary in Mexico with us was diagnosed rather unexpectedly with a 2 inch brain tumor. Did I mention that he is 36 and the father of 3 young children? He is on staff at Brook Hills Baptist Church with David Platt in Alabama. You can read more about Jonathan's story here.
Second, one of my dearest life friends has struggled for several months with women issues and recently found out she was pregnant! We have praised the Lord for his goodness to their family! At her doctor's appointment last week an ultrasound revealed what is believed to be a tear in the placenta and that it is trying to clot, plus the baby had a very low heart rate. Obviously this is devastating news. They are going back to the doctor today to see if there is any change with this little one.
Both of these people have shown a ridiculous amount of boldness in relying on the Lord. My friend said that while the waiting is so tough she knows that the Lord has met them there before and she believes He will be right there with them on Monday (later today at the appointment). It is the waiting that is always the hardest. We have talked extensively about what the Lord does during "the waiting" over the past year. As if He was preparing us for our lives right this moment.
Well, Saturday was a rough day for me. I was able to talk with my friend and again, she described how her interaction with her two kids has changed since the ultrasound. How she was so acutely aware of God and his blessings to her. And, it all just put me in a bad mood. Why? Not exactly sure, except definitely my sin nature. I want so bad to be justified in being grumpy, cranky, and in an overall state of complaining, but- well, honestly, next to these two families I have nothing at all to even tarry over. And, that doesn't feel good either, because sometimes a good pity-party is what would feel best. But, again, that is my sin-nature.
So, while resting on the couch after a long day with the kids I was wracking my brain with all the complaints I had with the world and what I was going to have to do to fix it all- in between pretending dump truck play and pulling hair out of a little girl's eyes. Chris was working on the music for Sunday and was picking at a song- an old song. A song whose words echoed the deep of my heart. Where truth resides. Even when it seems dark, Truth is able to speak to me- if I don't squelch it with my self pity and the lies Satan has readily available for me to embrace.

The song is Jesus, Draw Me Close:
Jesus, draw me close
Closer Lord to you
Let the world around me fade away.
Jesus, draw me close
Closer Lord to you
For I desire to worship and obey

Simple truth. Again, I was confronted with the choice to let the Lord draw me close to Him, to trust Him, to let go of "control." And, honestly, I needed the world to fade away- I was overwhelmed by these situations that were happening to really good Christians. And, I know that my ultimate desire is to worship and obey Jesus. Which always comes with self sacrifice.
I had a rough sleep Saturday night. The kids woke me up around 3am and for the next hour and twenty minutes (who's counting, right?) my mind waged war with itself. I was going to throw in the towel on everything and just coast. I remember thinking that my Dad wonders if people give up right before the Lord's blessings become evident, but they don't get to experience them. And, I vividly remember thinking that maybe there was something to just taking a break and picking back up with the Lord in a short while. I mean, in my short frame of reference I have a long list of "things" that have not changed or shown significant improvement...so it's not like I'm missing out on any big changes either way. But, I also reminded myself that we (Chris and I) make no decisions when we are tired or overwhelmed because it's generally Satan who tries to get us off focus when we're down. And, I knew that at the root of all my rational and decision processing (if it can be called that at 4am) was selfishness, which is not a characteristic of the Lord. And, again, the words rang true again- "for I desire to worship and obey." And, the answer was to be drawn closer to Jesus. I also spent significant time going over the three Bible verses I've memorized this year (Joshua 1:7, Psalms 40:5, Galatians 5:1) because it is the Truth of Scripture that is an anchor to my emotions. When I can't figure out what the truth is and what is just "me" I know I can count on His words to guide and comfort me.
So, off to church we went Sunday morning and I was determined to not miss the opportunity to worship the Lord and to let Him meet me (because he's always willing, we're usually not!). A lady who I hadn't seen in a month or so talked with me about joining our ladies Bible Study- that she had been having a hard time with a lot of issues this winter and she was ready to make a break for something better- learning more about Jesus and letting Him be the difference maker in her life. I was thinking, "Ok, Lord. Well, you just proved yourself right there. Maybe I am on the right track with pursuing this women's ministry thing." I cried all throughout Jesus, Draw Me Close because it was so evident the personal decision that has to be made to draw close to Him or, frankly, deal with life's messes without Him. No thanks.
Dad read from Isaiah 61:
¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,^a]">[a]
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

And, again, I could feel the Lord breathing comfort on me. At lunch, with some guests from church, they talked about two other very specific things/events that I had wrestled with in the middle of the night. I was bewildered as I saw how the Lord was graciously showing me that He is intimately aware of my needs. In fact, I didn't even have to bring any of these things up- the Lord had woven them into their hearts and mouths. And there was a third thing that the Lord just poured into my lap. A burden that I have silently been struggling with- or enduring.
It has been my experience that it would seem to be "easy" or tangible to boldly rely on the Lord when big things happen: facing life and death, a diagnosis, extreme weather issues, job loss, etc. But, it's hard to resolve to follow hard after Jesus when it's just regular tough. I am not facing anything more difficult than thousands of other women in the world (although I want to stomp my feet and proclaim to be the most under appreciated and misunderstood women of them all). But, in the circumstances that the Lord has placed me in, I get to choose to draw close to Jesus, to not focus on the weights of the world, and to worship and obey the One who is THE difference maker in my life.
So, if you're still reading this I share all of this because it is a fresh reminder of God revealing himself to a regular woman. And, of the wrestling we often have to do with ourselves, to get ourselves out of the way to be able to see Jesus. And, He knows I'll have more rough patches and I will need a reminder of how He is in control.
Please join me in praying for my two friends - Jonathan and Abigail. Jonathan is still in the process of meeting with doctors to determine his plan for care. Abigail has a doctor's appointment today to determine if she is miscarrying or not.
As was written on Jonathan's white board in his hospital room: "The star of hope is still in the sky when the night is blackest." Charles Spurgeon Amen!

The Written Word

2011-01-27T19:15:00.001-08:00

I love to read really well written things. I, no shocker, am not a good writer. I would rather speak. But, I really am impressed with those who have a gift of writing. Here are a few blogs that are the finest of writers. If you're not already following them, you may after spending a few minutes on their blogs!

Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministry Blog

Amanda Jones' Baby Bangs (Beth's daughter)

Ann Voskamp's A Holy Experience

Lysa TerKeurst

In fact, I just received a copy of Lysa's new book Made to Crave. So...off I go to begin!

Target and Spring

2011-01-27T19:00:00.000-08:00

Nothing like an impromptu trip to Target to make you want to spend a ton of money on items for spring! I mean, we have a lot of winter to go...but I'm missing bright colors and flowers and ruffles and cute shoes. Ahhh! So...here are two dresses I got today (planning on wearing post delivery) and some shoes that I would like in every color available. Couldn't find pics online of the bathing suit I would get if Chris and I were going to a beach somewhere far away (as in passport required) or the fun purple purse I saw. Oh well. Here you go!

The neck on this is fantastic. Plus, it is as soft as a favorite t-shirt. And, I don't know why, but I'm certain it looks better on me than their model. Hmmm. Maybe I could have a new career? Right.

This is a great orange dress. Looking forward to wearing this post delivery with fun sandals! Well, for some reason Target's website doesn't want me to share it with you. I'll have to take a pic when I wear it. And, share with you the cutest thing Eli said when I tried it on at the store.

On to the shoes...
Well. Hmmm. Maybe now is the time to talk about my desire for a laptop...PC. I know, Mac's do SO much, but I want a basic laptop that I know how to use and can get all the pictures I want! Ahhh! So frustrating.

So, really this blog is about the new gray dress and all the other stuff I wanted to share, but couldn't download the images.
Fun!

New Finds!

2011-01-25T04:53:00.000-08:00

Here are some new purchases I'm enjoying...

New face wash! I find myself leaning towards all Neutrogena products. I love their makeup. It may be because I'm getting older. But, it's fantastic!

New foundation. Again, it may be because I'm getting older. Or that winter sucks any color tone out of my skin. I usually use a stick (looks like lipstick), but I thought I'd change it up a bit. Any who, it's doing the job well.

And, because I'm not that old! I l.o.v.e. these shoes! They are so very very comfortable, go with everything, and are a bit more stylish than running shoes! My cousin has them with a touch of pink, but no such luck for me. If you do find them though, size 8.5 please!

Ok...I've spent at least 5 precious minute looking for a picture. Still not 100% at using Chris' Mac. So, here's a link: New Balance 460 Kaleidoscope Collection I also saw there is a new J Crew Collection. I'll have to find time to study up on that! Anyhow, Joe's New Balance Outlet is the best place to get them online. We've bought shoes through them before and were very pleased!

Lastly...because winter seems to have been long already (and we're really just getting started!) I just had to paint my toenails my favorite OPI color. Yes, DC Cherry Blossom. Added a little bit of color to the white/gray backdrop of snow.

Happy Tuesday! Let me know if there's something you're loving! It may need to be added to my radar!

Love is a verb

2011-01-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, DC Talk coined the phrase back in my junior high days- but these are a few reminders I've seen in the past week of love displayed in action...
1- A family in our church has befriended a man, who to say the least is socially awkward. Anyhow, he has since been saved and is faithful at our services. After last Wednesday night's service he stood and thanked the congregation for providing him with gas to heat his home. He was in tears at the generosity of others. I didn't know we had decided to do that, but I am not surprised. We are to meet our brothers needs if we can. And, we've had some insanely cold nights. His genuine appreciation was beautiful.
2- I met a Peruvian family that is serving as missionaries to the Hispanic community in our area via a local church. The church sponsors them through immigration, however they have not continued their commitment to provide this couple with an income. Now the couple not only does not know how they will be able to provide for their family (they have two children), but they are at risk of losing their sponsorship and having to return to their country. Yet, they continue to serve the Lord and seek him for guidance. The husband said, "You know Scripture says we go from 'victory to victory.'" Um. I believe that's a direct reflection on Psalms 84, "they go from strength to strength" - which happens to be one of the most influential verses of my life. Their love for the Lord is greater than the hardships they are enduring. It also reminded me of the honor it is to support the IMB through the Southern Baptist Convention.
3- It was reported via facebook that my brother spontaneously bought lunch for two Airmen at Applebee's. Not sure much more needs to be said about that.
4- A single mom in our church had to go on a business trip that began early Sunday morning. A couple in our church had arranged with her to pick her kids up at their Dad's house so they could make it to church. And, then they took them out to lunch and to their aunt's house (to stay while their Mom was gone). It's wonderful that our church body takes care of each other. What a help for this mom.

Peas in a Pod

2011-01-09T15:43:00.001-08:00

I really.really. would like to have one of these. Only, with 3 peas! Love.

If you have never visited The Vintage Pearl's blog...do so now and enjoy a new love! Their button is on my side bar.

Until then, I'll be thinking of the best thing vegetables could give us - a sterling silver and pearl necklace design!

Week 1 Recap

2011-01-09T15:12:00.000-08:00

I agree with you. If I say I'm going to blog, then I need to blog! Get on with it already!

We have had one v.e.r.y. busy week! We returned last Sunday from Louisiana and I thought I had two days at home with the kids before the craziness unleashed. I am helping out at one of Dad's tax businesses and the kids are going to Pre-K five days a week during the crazy season. Crazy is right! So, Monday I was eating lunch with the kids while we enjoyed one of Abi's new Minnie Mouse cartoons (and surrounded by no less than 10 loads of laundry and Christmas debris) and the phone rang. The school. I figured they wanted to remind me I actually needed to register Abi (b/c why wait to the last minute?). Well, very kindly Ms. Marsha reminded me/informed me that school started that day, not Wednesday! Right. So after naps we made a mad dash around town to get Abi registered and get a nap mat and everything else I thought I had two days to do!

The kids love school! Praise the Lord! They do go to a fantastic learning center at a church and I am totally at ease with them there. Definitely a blessing! I'll do a separate post about Abi and her school experience. If I had a dollar for every time my parents have said this week, "She is just like her mother!"

The tax season is quickly upon us. There are some major changes this year thanks to Big Brother. They are really good at telling you how you can spend your money, but also at telling businesses how they can make money or not. Big government. Hmmm.

All the changes this week have left me with a bunch of Braxton Hicks contractions- not sure I remember having so many this early (21 1/2 weeks) in my past pregnancies. But, maybe my muscles are just more relaxed third time around. I'm also having more sciatic nerve/hip pains. Growing a baby is tough! But, it's a blessed reminder that Caleb is growing and thriving. And, we are very thankful for that!

To add to the awesome first week of the New Year, we also had Abi's 2nd birthday party! {I'll try to get a post done on that too!} I was very stressed about getting our house clean and Christmas decorations down! Accomplished about 2 hours pre party! I am thankful to have a husband that just assumes the job of dismantling the tree- to be fair, I was busy making cupcakes with blackberry buttercream frosting!

So...to sum up the week- it was crazy busy, but the Lord brought us thru in one piece! And, I now have a list of other posts to write! And, pictures! Until then, I'm going to have some coffee!

Shopping with the kids

2010-12-20T17:40:00.000-08:00

Here's how I handle shopping at Walmart (or any other place) with my kids (3 1/2, 2, and 4 1/2 months pregnant!)- especially during the Holiday season. Both of my kids have a bit of their mother's Type A- they want to know what's going to happen, what is expected of them, and what they can expect of me. Very routine oriented.
A few months ago we memorized this Bible verse, "God has been very good to me." Genesis 33:11 It is printed on a cup that Eli uses. We randomly talk about how God has been good to us (always a good exercise).
Here is the talk we have before we enter the store:
"What's in a few days?" "Christmas!" "That's right, Christmas! And, the store has a lot of toys and fun things out on the shelves. We can look at them and talk about them, but we're not going to touch them or get cranky about wanting them, right? What's our Bible verse?" And, we recite it together. "That's right. When we see something we like and want to touch, let's remember that God has been very good to us and thank Him for the toys and food we have at our house." And, we proceed to go shop.
There were maybe 3 times we stopped and recited our verse together. It just helps deflect the tension from the item (like sliced cheese, yes, that was one of today's "must haves"). And, since it's an agreed to plan beforehand there is no issue with the kids. And, we all (including shoppers around us) enjoy our adventure in the stores.
May you and yours enjoy the hustle and bustle of the season- it was a busy time when our Savior was born too!

Sinus infections be gone!

2010-12-15T19:25:00.000-08:00

This week has been very unique. Some moments funny. Some moments frustrating. Some moments of utter chaos. But, all very unique.
We had a very busy weekend. All of us have been battling colds and sinus issues. The tiredness added to the downfall of our immune systems. Abi had pink eye about a month ago- and with her sinus cold every 3 days her eyes would get red, swell, and be gooey. Great. Sunday she ran a low grade fever. Sunday night my throat hurt so bad and glands were swollen, and the sinus pressure was building. It was a lovely night. Abi didn't have a fever on Monday morning so I decided to not take her to the doctor- we just stayed in our jammies and played. Also, the washing machine decided to stop working- full of water and a ton of denim! Monday night I felt awful. Again, Abi woke up at 2am- nose full of junk, not able to breathe. I decided she in fact would visit the doctor on Tuesday- so I put her in bed with us hoping we would get a bit of rest. So...here's the run down on Tuesday:
-Woke up, showered, and got ready for the day (always a success, plus Eli had his program that afternoon)
-Emailed pediatricians office for Abi's appointment
-Woke Eli up, snuggled with him on the couch while he drank strawberry milk
-Eli rolled over and went back to sleep
-I hustled to get Eli's school stuff together and Abi's bag together
-Made coffee, oddly there was not a lid for my travel mug
-Got Chris out the door for work
-Pryed Eli awake, got him dressed
-Loaded the car
-Woke Abi up (why do kids insist on sleeping in when you need to go somewhere?)
-Backed out of driveway, some coffee spilled onto seat- but, with my smooth moves I was able to divert getting any on my pants!!! Very thankful b/c of my washing machine situation.
-Realized I wouldn't be able to get the kids McD's for breakfast and make it to school and doctor's on time- ran inside
-Gave Eli a Banana Moon Pie and Abi Fruit Snacks for breakfast (Mom of the year!)
-Due to construction on our normal route, I had to take a different road- bumpy, and yes, the WHOLE mug of coffee spewed on my jeans! No time to go back and change.
-Dropped Eli off at school (in which he cried hysterically)...did I mention I was freezing in my coffee drenched pants???
-Finally found the new clinic location (after going to another one), continued to feed Abi fruit snacks
-Praise the Lord for no ear infections or chest issues, got her an antibiotic and cough suppressant to help her sleep
-Went to WalMart to get her prescription- had a weak moment and bought sociables and squirt cheese, and chocolate cookies for Abs
-Picked up a hamburger and fries (Abi's request) for lunch
-Had a solid nap with Abi
-Went to Eli's school program- it was great! Especially when he picked his nose!
-Came home and started feeling worse and worse and worse
-Woke up at 3:45 with Abi...why?????????????? Had no voice.
-Woke up at 8am- no voice and terrible sinus infection.

Anyhow, Chris has been caring for me all day. Very blessed. He made breakfast (I did bathe the kids!), did dishes, called the doctor's office to get me a prescription called in, and took the wet clothes out of our washing machine. AND IT WORKED! Yes, I had over loaded it! We have a long running joke about me and clothes (or, Chris jokes about it!) and now he has proof! But, he's been keeping up with the laundry all day. When he picked up my medicine he also got a Nedi Pot (saline rinse), Orange Crush, and pizza bites. Love.
My symptoms have ranged from stuffy nose, incredible green drainage, sinus pressure, pain in my facial bones- but, hey, at least my throat hasn't been raw today!
And, my mom came over tonight and made chicken noodle soup- fantastic! And, she brought me some ice cream. The good stuff.
So, everything has been very random and unique. I'm hoping the z pack knocks this infection out! And, maybe my voice will return tomorrow??? I have a meeting at 9:30 and it would be awkward to have no voice at it! Oh well, I'm sure they've seen odder things!
Time to get some rest...

To Certain

2010-12-12T12:51:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas! Everything, and how everything ultimately draws back to Jesus. So precious! Regardless of what the culture would have us believe, it.is.all.about.Jesus! Also at this time of year we (I'll assume you're like this too) reflect on the past year and begin to look ahead at the new one. Annually we play a game with some family about the "Best of and Worst of" the year. Everything from movie, restaurant, game, life lesson, song, coffee, to sushi, etc. I've been in that mindset for the past few weeks. There has been so many times that the Lord has revealed himself in tangible, personal ways. It would seem silly to others, but to me there is not doubt it was God making himself known to me- at my exact moment of need. I saw this happen with finances, with groceries, with a kind word from a friend, with Scripture literally jumping off of a page at me!

Last week I attended a Christmas dinner with my Dad. The church's praise team was leading us in some carols, including The First Noel. I became overwhelmed with emotion on the second line: "The First Noel, The Angels did say, Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay." It hit me like a ton of bricks! These shepherds were going about their mundane tasks and they received a direct word from God! To certain them! Mr. Webster defines certain as: having no doubts, free from suspicions, determined, resolved, actually existing, sure to happen, and unfailing. Woah!

My 2010 has been full of doubts and unclear direction. But, every time- every time- the Lord's presence has overwhelmed me to certain me. To free my mind of doubts, suspicions, and to give me the resolve to continue- trusting that His word is true, sure, and unfailing!

So, like any 4+ month pregnant woman, I cried. And, cried. And, tried to do so quietly, privately, and ladylike (did I mention I was in a room of pastors...and my Dad?). But, there is no denying how awesome it is that the Lord would choose to reveal himself in a personal way to me- to certain me when I was anything but. How can I not brag on him? How can I not go crazy celebrating his birth? How can I not let him radically change my life? How can I not share him? Oh, the hope and peace He gives. It's like the sweetest tasting thing you could ever imagine. Literally, divine.

2 verses that speak Truth:

"You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound." Psalms 4:7

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." Psalms 18:1 (Of David the servant of the Lord. He sang to the Lord the words of this song when the Lord delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul.)

Thank you, Jesus, for certaining me. I love you, O Lord, my strength.

Back at it

2010-12-12T12:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I've missed blogging. Don't worry- I've stalked many blogs over the past several months so I'm not completely out of the loop! But, I have missed the creative outlet of blogging. As a blogger wrote a while back, when life gets really hard many things come to either a halt or to a whisper. That's been this past year. Often thoughts and experiences are so deep that there are no words for them, and they are often so personal that to pen them would seem to make light of them. Another blogger also wrote that this has been the hardest year, but also the best year. I feel the exact same. Our home has experienced some wonderful highs, and walked through some very deep lows. But, I can say with certainty that it has been a good year. Early in the year the Lord and I wrestled with some big stuff. And, while excruciating, I'm glad we did. Because I have needed those lessons to walk through the last part of the year.

One of my main draws back to blogging was to offer hope to others. While I am an avid blog stalker, it is something I do have to regulate! I can easily get wrapped up in the lives of other women - going on lunch dates, girls night outs, trips, shopping, doing wonderful crafty things, being creative with their kids, and all the bliss that exists in blog world - and at the end of the day I compare myself to them. It's just the way it is. And, while it is wonderful to experience all those great things, I would often feel less because my life (social, as a mom, as a wife) did not look like any of theirs! Silly, but true.

And, I would dare say that there are many women that have been there too. And, that are having very tough struggles- many that they don't share, that are deeply personal. I am here to blog about the hope Jesus has given me. About the tough times, the lessons learned (and learning), and the glimpses of God's grace/mercy/presence that he bestows on me.

Am I perfect? No. Do I have a lot to learn? Every day. Am I the perfect wife/mom/friend? No. Have I done some things well? I'd like to think so.

Here are just a snippet of verses that could sum up 2010:

"O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

"It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way." Proverbs 19:2

"Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, than a fattened calf with hatred." Proverbs 15:17

"Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." Proverbs 14:10

"Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever finds me finds life and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 8:34-35

"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free." Psalms 118:5

"Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalms 86:11

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalms 73:26,28

And a host more, but you're probably not reading anymore anyways!

At the end of the day it still remains true- the Lord has been very good and gracious to me! And, I am forever grateful that He pursues me and loves me deeply!

House

2010-05-27T18:05:00.001-07:00

Customize a free digital slideshow

The final post

2010-02-25T17:50:00.000-08:00

I've been mulling this around in my head for the past week or so. This will be the final post of The Great Pursuit. There are a lot of things/topics I want to write about, but I want to have the freedom to write on and on about them.
So, I'm going old school to the original blog format...the journal. Pen and paper.
I want to account what is going on in my life and how the Lord is working in my life for my children's sake. One day far from now, I want them to have evidence of God's work in my life and to know how I handled the ups and downs that life brings. And, I want to be honest with them. And, detailed. And, I feel this blog barely scratches the surface of what I want to share. Sometimes I think that if I blogged how I really want to write people would think I was borderline crazy (ok, maybe you already do).
So, with that note, I am going to wipe the dust off of a journal I have and get at it.
The Lord is good. All the time. And, the great pursuit continues. And, it is never in vain!

Stumbling into the right place

2010-02-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

This is how I felt on Sunday at church looking at the verse on the front of my bulletin. I thought it very appropriate for this time of my life, so I looked it up. And, I stumbled onto a Psalm that is so timely for me and many other people on my prayer list.

"I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Psalms 116:7-11

Here is the "unfolding" of these verses-

1) It's a choice to praise the Lord

2) He counsels me, seeking Him is not in vain

3) 1 and 2 leads to our heart instinctively knowing what to do in the dark times

Here come the big nuggets...

4) Our physical bodies respond to placing our trust and hope in the Lord

- my heart is glad (stress reliever)

- my tongue rejoice (positive attitude)

- my body rests (oh my! I get sleep!)

5) When I seek Him, he makes known to me the path of life!

It all begins with the choice to seek the Lord. To really seek him. Not in a self-serving, with strings-attached, "here is my wish list" kind of way. But, to praise Him for who he is.

I have had several conversations and read many blog posts lately about women who are carrying some very heavy burdens right now. Their situations make mine seem trivial. In a reality, each of us deals with our own realities, our own junk. Most ladies (including myself) have mentioned the incredible stress they're under, their very short patience (I am the worst with this right now!), inability to rest well, and at the end of the day just feel like a total failure.

Satan is at work. Let's call it what it is. Fortunately, we do not have to be shaken. The Lord fights for us! Excuse me while I stop and give a huge shout out to Him for not leaving me alone down here!

Anyhow, I'm going to give another plug for Forgotten God, by Francis Chan. Buy it today. Don't check it out or borrow it because you're going to want to read it many a times, with many a notes in the margin. It has changed my life in how I deal with my day-to-day, mainly by understanding the role of the Holy Spirit...who is called our Counselor. Well, I need counseling. And, He has the path of life ready to reveal to me!

All this to say that I've thought about these verses many times since Sunday morning. Hopefully they will be like a balm on your heart. And, please, pass them along to other women in need of hearing a fresh word from the Counselor! And, together, let's make the choice to praise the Lord in our current situation!

On a semi separate note...Eli learned his first Bible verse today. "Great is our Lord. His power is mighty." Psalm 147:5 Bless his heart. It is the most adorable thing I've ever seen. And, he specifically prefers to have my Bible open when he recites (or "reads" as he sees it) it. He loves to read the Bible! In fact, today he would've taken mine to nap time with him! Thankfully, we have several children's Bible story books. He is soaking it up! It has been a real picture about the analogies of seeking Jesus like a child. And, it's a very humbling time as a Mom. I feel like I'm treading on Holy Ground...introducing a child to the Word of God. Woah. Showing them what it's like to read the Word, breathe the Word, live the Word, and share the Word.

I could go on and on about parenting and the Lord, but it's not getting any earlier and I need to shower before bed. Please continue to be in prayer for our family. Chris has applied for several local jobs. We're at a point that we'd take anything! As mentioned, the Lord is our counselor and he makes known the path of life!

Change of plans

2010-02-01T19:15:00.000-08:00

I've been itching to write a great post titled "Matt + Young Love + Purity." Not that they entirely have anything to do with each other. Just a compilation from this weekends encounters.
But, life has happened.
And, I no longer can bring myself to write a semi-deep, semi-up beat post. Maybe later.
If, by chance, our family crosses your mind in the next foreseeable future, please say a prayer for us.
That's all right now.
The kids are well and thankfully sleeping.

Haiti -

2010-01-31T12:46:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest, I've been a bit removed from the devastation the earthquake caused in Haiti. I grew up knowing and experiencing the effects of earthquakes. They're not fun. In fact, to this day I do not do well if a bridge sways or in elevators when it feels like it's moving kinda funny.

Ok, this is not about me.

My Uncle Bob Harper (Uncle because he served with my parents as a Southern Baptist missionary in Mexico and we're a family like that) is in Haiti. He is helping set up water filtration systems and translating (French)/teaching the Haitians how to use them.

Please read this update on his daughter's blog. The pictures are heart breaking. The one that gets me is the boy with a toy made out of an empty water bottle. How many toys do my kids have thrown around?

Please pray and give as the Lord leads you. Although we cannot all be there, we can pray for those that are and for our brothers and sisters that are boldy showing Christ's love to their country.

Ice cream & Cookies

2010-01-29T12:57:00.000-08:00

Ice cream

Chris' Mom shared with me a conversation she had with her Mom on Wednesday. {Gran has Alzheimer's}

Mom: Hey, Mom. I wanted to make sure you had enough groceries to make it through the ice storm that's on it's way. I can go to the store for you if you need me to.

Gran: Let me check.

Gran: No, we're good. We have plenty of ice cream.

Giggles.

Eli had his first experience making chocolate chip cookies last night. He was SO excited. He can give a full roll call of all the ingredients and the mixing process. And, he loved using the Pampered Chef cookie scoop. And, cheering them on as they baked. And, serving them to his Daddy afterwards.

And, he proceeded to call lots of family to share his happiness of baking!

UPDATE: Here's Eli's recap last night: "we put brown sugar, flour, chocolate chips in it, scooped it out on a pan, and put it in the bank." If only that's the way it all worked...

It's the simple things that bring joy. Like ice cream and cookies!

Weekend reflections

2010-01-26T10:21:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of rambles in my head that I want to blog about. We'll see how the stream of consciousness goes!

First, the weekend didn't go quiet as planned. Oh well. It was full of family and that is always a good thing.

On Friday night the Wood's came over with pizza and music. I don't know why we don't stop planning activities and just say, "Let's just sit around the table and talk." Because, well, that's what we do! Their wedding was Chris' and my first public date. While a bit overwhelming, it is a fantastic memory! We've been through a lot, the four of us. They are some of the bestest friends I can imagine being blessed with. There was a situation a few years back (more like several years back!) and I'll never forget Sara saying (obviously paraphrased), "I never thought I'd laugh out loud and have a good time today. It feels good." And, well, I felt the same way when they left our home. Thanks for the years of memories and encouragement...and laughter! Indeed, laughter is good for the soul!

My Mom also stopped by and brought cheese! Isn't that funny?! I obviously come from a family of cheese lovers! She brought a huge thing of sliced cheese and of cheddar cheese. However, I am proud to say that we haven't opened them yet! She also brought the kids tator tots and corn dogs. And, by kids, I do include Chris. Those are two of his favorite foods!

What I really want to write about is Sunday. We went to Lakeside to witness our cousin Loren's baptism. She realized at the age of 14 that she had not truly accepted Christ as her Savior at the age of 8. I really appreciate this. Her honesty and obedience to the Lord. Many "good" people wouldn't wrestle with the issue, but she faced the facts and is now my sister in Christ! Anyhow, she's now 17 (!) and decided to follow in believer's baptism. I always get teary when I witness baptisms. Anyone else? I can't help it. I'll need Valium when my children are baptised!

Ok, I've totally digressed. A lot of our family came to support Loren. Including her mom. Loren's parents are going thru a very hard divorce. It's not pleasant. It makes me very sad and uncomfortable. Even typing this I just got a heavy feeling rush over my heart. Anyhow, it was the first time many of us have seen her in several months. As I was showering Sunday morning, I found myself praying, "Lord, bring a clear message to her that pricks her heart, and..." Wait. The Holy Spirit totally convicted me. I repented and began praying again, "Lord, bring a clear message to me. And everyone else. We are indeed in need of a fresh Word from you." I was mystified at my righteous thoughts. So silly. I'm thankful the Lord quickly whipped me in shape.

So, we first saw her when we got out of our truck. I didn't know how to act. Seriously. I didn't want to be rude, but loving her seemed so undeserved. I kept telling myself a quote from the movie Second Chance (which is FANTASTIC!), "The thing about believing the Bible is that it says that I have to love you. No matter how I may feel." So true. And, I tried to make my heart obey. I didn't engage in chit chat (again, I felt it would be so fake) and focused my attention on Abi (who was being an angel and didn't need tending to!). But, I was pleased that I didn't feel cold. It is a hard situation. And, I'm not even the closest to it!

Anyhow, it's the Lord that changes lives and that is what we were there to celebrate! When the pastor said to open our Bibles to 1 Peter I about died. You see, I love this book. Yet, I don't love it because it's all about how we live our lives. And, it's very convicting. From the first to the last verse. In fact, secretly, I was glad we don't go to our church's Wed night service b/c they've been going thru 1 Peter! (I really believe in being brutally honest on this blog!)

Anyhow, the sermon was on the portion about women being submissive and men honoring their wives. I do enjoy listening to thoughts on this subject. It's so grossly misunderstood. The thing is that the Lord is a God of order. He has an order for everything. Even the home. It's an order that is a tall one...one that doesn't make since to our sin nature (hence, if you're not a Christian being a submissive wife seems totally offensive). And, one that we can't accomplish on our own. It's through having a living relationship with Christ that allows us to do the impossible. When we are focused on being in His will, in honoring Him, and in obeying Him - well, that's when it becomes possible to be submissive. Not a short term front, but true submission that oozes from our hearts and every pore of our bodies. (Not to mention, the scripture specifically refers to husband's coming to the Lord b/c of their wives actions and not words!)

You see, this is right where I am. We have so much stuff going on in our home, so many decisions to make, that my Type A personality gets in the way of the order God has. It's a tough lesson that I'm still learning. But, the Lord is faithful to mold us- if we make ourselves moldable. This past week I worked on Monday at the schools, but was home the rest of the week. On Thursday night, I offered to work at the office on Friday. Because, honestly, I wanted to have adult interaction and a reason to do my hair! We considered it. But, I felt the Holy Spirit pricking my heart. If I really want Chris to take the lead in our home regarding providing for our family and if I really believe God wants me to take care of the kids...then, I need to stick with it. So, I told Chris to go on. And, you know, my home has been cleaner this week than it's been in a while. Our beds have been made. Counters cleaned off and cleaned. Good meals prepared for dinner. The Lord has given me the joy of caring for my family and home. You see, my nature is to go work and make it work. But, God's order is not my order. It's a tough rub, but He's been faithful when I am faithful. All this to say that clearly the Lord had a message for ME on Sunday!

Lastly, because if you're still reading you obviously have other things you need to do, I want to make note that our family is blessed. So much. So much more than I could say in this mere blog. Our family has reached out to us in this time in ways...well, that are truly from the Lord. We cannot express our thanks enough. Know that we could not make it without your love, encouragement, support, and prayers. The Lord is good. All the time.

Family Recap

2010-01-23T05:27:00.000-08:00

What a week. It's been long. But, good. But, long.

The weather has been nice enough for me to take the kids out on a walk twice this week. It just affirms that they are getting big. Eli loves to wear his backpack (monkey/dog on the back) and even hands me the leash (b/c I'm not sure what to call it!). And, he keeps one hand on the stroller (which I don't require unless we're crossing the street, but he seems to enjoy it). Anyhow, it's a great opportunity for us to talk about nature and all that God has made. Eli enjoys seeing the kids get off the school bus (one of his most favorite things ever!) and watching them play basketball in their driveways. He's working on learning his address. I vividly remember having to learn my address and phone number in kindergarten...he's 2 1/2!

Abi is changing before my eyes. She got a toy stroller for Christmas and yesterday she discovered that she can push it. It's the first walking she's done without us holding her hands. She's a pro already. And, she's quiet proud of herself. I think she got her Mama's self-confidence. Her brother liked to help her at first, but I think he's realizing that he's got some competition for my attention.

So, I'm balancing myself between Abi learning to walk and Eli learning to use his Thomas the Train laptop thing. So funny.

Chris found out yesterday that the job he applied for had been closed for a few weeks, but the system hadn't taken it off their website. Really? So typical. While it's not the outcome we had hoped, I'm glad we've found out now and can move on. Back to square one. Whatever and wherever that is.

I've just finished another long run. Not the 8 I had originally planned on, b/c I took a few days off this week and I felt that 6 was sufficient. Still long. Still getting stronger. Anyhow, we're off to work at the tax office today. I love tax season! I do! I've helped at my Dad's tax business for 5 or 6 years now and I enjoy it more every year. I have some free movie passes that Chris and I may redeem to see Avatar in 3D. Personally, I want to roll my eyes. Chris is beyond determined that I will love it. We'll see. Everyone hearts it. Again, we'll see.

Time to get clean! The kiddos will be wanting strawberry milk before you know it!

Happy Saturday!

Lessons on frugality

2010-01-21T10:37:00.001-08:00

Is frugality a word? Well, the intent is lessons I've learned on being frugal.

This verse is one that I have recently memorized and keep at the front of my heart and mind:

"Better a meal of vegetables where there is love

than a fattened calf with hatred."

Proverbs 15:17

The hard thing about owning your own business is that the income is not consistent. And, Chris' unemployment benefits ran out a few weeks ago. So, these two things can cause a person {me} to want to pull their {my} hair out with worry.

But, the Lord is ever faithful to his children. I have learned a lot in the past year, and especially the past few weeks about how to best, or better, manage the food-money balancing act.

- For starters, Chris and I have to be on the same page when it comes to our finances. It's simply too easy to whip in to Sonic for a happy-hour drink. I mean, what's $1.25? Well, as my grandmother would say, "It's not a good deal if you can't afford it."

- Next, we make (sometimes in our heads) a priority list for groceries. In our home, it's milk and diapers. (I cannot tell you how long we've gone without cheese in our home! It's SO expensive!)

- Then, it's a matter of thinking before acting. How silly is that? But, seriously, I find myself thinking twice before grabbing a paper towel. I mean, a rag will do the job and not create the waste (b/c trash bags are something we have to buy too and I'd rather save the room for dirty diapers!).

- I also am much more aware of my meal planning. Again, simple and silly, but true. It's amazing how many good meals we've had. And, all I had to do was use my noggin and actually USE the stuff in my pantry and freezer! It can be a challenge to cook hot meals when I have two awesome little helpers...but, it's healthier and much cheaper than microwave/box stuff. Plus, there are many life lessons to be learned while in the kitchen with your Mama. =)

- Another ridiculously simple thing I do is simply not throw food away after a meal. And, if their drinks aren't all gone, I put them in the fridge for later. This can make a can of corn and green beans last for several meals. We will eat it until it's gone. Or, they will eat it until it's gone!

- I also push back from the table. One, it's good for my figure and keeps me from being junked down while running. But, I'd rather have a smaller portion so that there are leftovers for the kids. Just writing that makes me feel so old fashion. But, I guess the pioneer women (the real ones, not the new one!) had some things figured out.

- Almost lastly, it's amazing how much money you won't spend if you aren't going into WalMart every 3 or 4 days. Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with them, but I love my family even more. When I know we have $4 to get milk, that's all I get. No hard feelings. It's a choice of showing my family that I love them more than immediate (and temporary) self gratification.

- Lastly, I spend much more time in prayer and in the Word. Proverbs is FULL of daily guidance on how to manage time, money, words, and relationships. And, let's be honest, I need all the help I can get with those! Allowing the Holy Spirit to permeate my heart and mind with His Word is the most wonderful close relationship their is. I'm not quiet sure how to explain it, but He gives me creativity and the courage to press on. His promises are forever and timely. He relieves my worry, anxiety, and bad moods (b/c they are there!) and replaces them with peace, love, and endurance.

I could write on, but I think I'll be done for now. I just wanted to share the really-really's with "you" (whomever that is!). I sometimes get discouraged reading blogs because it seems like "everyone" is eating out, shopping, decorating, taking or planning vacations...when, well...I'm scraping the pan and trying to not use paper towels!

So, here it is. A glimpse of my real life. I hope you are encouraged by God's goodness. After all, that's all we really have!

A little disclaimer: I know the written word can be interpreted many ways. I just want to clarify that I in no way think ill of those that are able to eat out, shop, decorate, or take and plan vacations. This is just a post of where I am right now and on God's provision. Maybe one day soon we'll laugh about these antics over lunch!

The proof's in the zipper!

2010-01-20T20:57:00.000-08:00

So, I'm still on target for my first half marathon {13.1 miles} in March. I am fortunate to have a treadmill at home {in the garage} that allows me to log some miles any time {usually after the kids are snoozing}. I'm also fortunate that Chris supports this crazy goal of mine.
This all said...you'd think that logging 15+ miles a week would lead to some weight loss. Well, not this runner. I am wearing two sizes smaller in pants and can wear medium blouses...but, I want to see the numbers go down! Seriously! What has to happen?!?!
I gave up soft drinks about 4 months ago. {Cravings never let up!} I don't do anything really different on my eating. I just try to be sensitive to my running schedule. For instance, tonight I knew I had a run so I only had one chicken tender and just a little bit on mashed potatoes at dinner. After all, you have to eat if you're burning 600 to 1,000 calories per workout. {Yes, I burned 1,042 calories on Sunday!}
Anyhow, I do keep certain goal clothes in my closet in a variety of sizes. I have some great pink pants from Talbots, pink pin-striped pants from the Gap, some skirts, a dressy outfit, and this amazing sundress from Ann Taylor. I got it on our girl's spring break trip to Florida...back before facebook was even thought of!
Anyhow, I keep it hanging in my closet and try it on every 3 weeks or so. Well. Tonight I was able to zip it all the way up! Go me! Seriously! Numbers schnumbers! There are real payoffs to the miles I'm logging.
I can't wait for spring! I'm going to have so many "new" clothes to wear!!!
Until then...I'm facing an 8 mile run on Saturday! The longest I'll have ran yet! Small victories like tonight keep me going!

Ironing in faith

2010-01-20T12:13:00.000-08:00

"Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought." James 1:6

Chris applied for a job last week. As an act of faith, I ironed several dress clothes for interviews and potentially a new job {with the help of my side kick!}.

Kinda like praying for rain and carrying an umbrella.

Please be in prayer for our family as we're walking through open doors.

The face of obedience

2010-01-19T19:41:00.000-08:00

Sunday I was fortunate enough to see the face of obedience.

I'll back track.

About two months ago Chris began to feel that the Lord was leading him to get more involved in music. To return to playing his guitar. Chris wasn't really sure what all that was about, but he began playing most afternoons. A few weeks after that, our music minister and his wife retired and moved away. Chris has led our worship the past two weeks.

Three weeks ago, Chris heard God of this City and really, really liked it. So, he looked the song up on his iPhone (not sure how all that works) and began learning it. First, Chris does not read music...never has. Yet, he is capable of playing the guitar and trumpet by ear! Anyhow, Sunday, he led our church in learning God of this City. He is a natural! He wasn't nervous, his voice didn't crack, he didn't have to make up words (like I sometimes do!), and the congregation joined in and sung really well with him the second time through.

It felt like I was holding my breath for forever, and then, I realized that I need to relax and relish what true obedience to the Lord looks like. My recent mantra from the Lord has been "I don't want your abilities, I want your availability."

It does wonders for my heart to see Chris 1) recognize the Lord's voice, 2) be patient in understanding His direction, 3) walking through open doors, and 4) following through with obeying Him.

And, for the record, it's the most attractive thing he can do.

The Battle of the Mind

2010-01-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

Why? Why are 99% of life's difficulties all battled in the mind? Ugh. It's so taxing.
What to eat? How much to eat?
What to wear? Is it too tight?
What to say? How much to say?
What bills to pay first? How to pay the rest?
How do I get motivated to go run? Am I getting stronger?
Coke? No Coke? {I'm +4 months sans Coke/Dr. Pepper and the urge doesn't give up!}

Anyhow, the life struggle of the mind can sometimes seem overwhelming. This week it's been hard for me to get running. Seriously? I've been training so hard for so long, but I've been so tired this week and my mind has won. Well, except I made myself run 4 tonight and I'm thankful for the push. And, it felt good.

A friend of mine has been blogging lately about sarcasm and the need for truthful words. This has pricked my heart and caused some self-evaluation. As I was reading in Proverbs (b/c it IS applicable to daily life!) I read these verses, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment." Prov 12:18-19 And, in this self-eval I'm reminded that what I put in my heart/mind/soul is what is going to come out. And, scripture tells us that the tongue is deceitful. So, I need to be careful not to use "reckless words." I like that term.

Another battle of the mind is spending time in the Word. For instance, it is easier for many of us (ok, me) to talk with friends, facebook, and blog about our issues and then think to ask the Lord for help. Or, we ask, "Why?" Poor pitiful me. I read a quote (from facebook!) from Francis Chan (who I'm dying to read his books!) that says, "The average Christian in the US spends ten minutes per day with God; meanwhile, the average American spends over four hours a day watching television." Hmmm. Why? Why is it hard for us/me to make up our/my mind to seek the Lord? To dive deep in his Word?

Ok, which leads me to another thing I read today in "Feathers from my nest" by Beth Moore...
"We might get away with CliffsNotes versions of the old classics from time to time, but we will be terribly cheated and ill equipped for life if we rely on a CliffsNotes version of God's Word. I was raised on CliffsNotes. My guess is, you were too. ... Without realizing it, sometimes we approach Scripture by reading only what we already believe. ... but, I believe our churches were never meant to be the sole source of our Bible knowledge. We are unwise to hold our church's and denominations responsible for teaching us absolutely everything we need to know about the Word of God. To me, that's a large part of what the "priesthood" of the individual means. (1 Pet.2:5,9) Because Jesus Christ is our Great High Priest, not only can we approach God without a human "go between," we can also hear and learn from God in some sacred moments without one."
Wow. That's a long quote. But, it spurs a lot of thought. {My mind must be reeling with all these thoughts!} Especially thought provoking is reading only the part of Scripture we already believe. That's an easy rut to get into. Hmmm.

I have a friend that is going thru a big life change right now and I was to meet with her last week to talk it thru. Well, it didn't end up happening. And, I felt ok about it because sometimes talking about it {w/ girlfriends} is the last thing we need to do. On the other hand, our home is going thru a lot of life changes right now and I scheduled a chat with my dearest friend to specifically discuss some issues on my mind. I think it boils down to wanting to talk to talk, or talking in light of what has already been laid at the Jesus' feet and about the direction He's showing. Does that make sense? Sometimes not being able to talk with each other is God's way of giving us another opportunity to talk with Him first about our situations.

Well, I'm certain that I'm rambling. But, there is a lot to be said about the battle of the mind. I think that's why regular scripture reading and memorization is so important. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your heart. Impress them upon your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes on your houses and on your gates."

So, I'm done with this post. The Lord is obviously working on me and my mind. After all, he did create me! Enjoy the weekend! I've got a LONG run tomorrow...definitely a battle of the mind!

Mood changers

2010-01-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

Here is a quick list of some things that for me are mood changers...

a compliment or kind word
unexpected help
a quiet moment
a phone call with a bestie
chocolate
Scripture surfacing to the top of my mind
a favorite song
a nap

any probably many more things...
but, this is where my mind ends. Time for rest.

Blog to add to your reading list

2010-01-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law (Kimber and Adam) have just moved to North Carolina. Adam will begin working on his masters while Kimber works to support the cause! {The things wives do!} Anyhow, we are very excited about this new chapter in their lives. They've even began a blog to document their adventures....

http://adamandkimber.blogspot.com

Check it out and enjoy!

Happy 1st BDay Abi Jean!

2010-01-09T21:06:00.000-08:00

My Mom called yesterday and said, "You need to update your blog. It's been since December 18." I find this very funny because I talk with my Mom atleast 3 times a day! So, she's in the loop! I might attempt to go back and recap the holidays (lots of sickness, but lots of fun too!), but today we celebrated Abi Jean's first birthday (which was yesterday!)! Here's the low down...

I wanted to do a butterfly theme because it's happy and a fresh change from all the holiday red and green. I racked up at the Dollar Tree! Seriously! Who knew? I also borrowed my cousin's book, Hello, Cupcake! It has fantastic ideas with step-by-step instructions. I've got my eye out to find one at a steal. My parents kept the kiddos on Friday, so Chris and I got busy cleaning the house and making candy butterflies! I'm very thankful to have a husband that's not too macho to help me in the kitchen. He loves to decorate, or learn/observe about it. He did compare the process to caulking! Cracks me up!

{SIDE NOTE: Our cousin Bonnie made this barrett for Abi! I love it! If you'd like one for your little one, let me know!}

This morning I ran 5.3 miles (well, 5.65 with the cool down)! Go me! This is, after I frosted a zillion cupcakes, set the table, pulled items out of the garage, put items in the garage, etc. Oh, and a side note, I made a goal to NOT lick any icing off of my fingers. It may sound crazy, but it keeps the caloric and sugar intake down...which means I don't have to run it off! A small, yet important victory!

So...here's where it goes crazy. My parents are having some issues with their home (and they had the kids), so my Mom calls at 12:45 saying she hasn't been able to make it to WalMart to get the stuff she was going to make. I couldn't go, well, because I'd just ran 5.3 miles and need a shower STAT! So, Chris went. Which left me to finish up the house stuff. When I went to get the punch (that I made 3 days ago) out of the freezer in our garage...um, well, it wasn't frozen! Trying not to panic, I cleared out my freezer in the fridge, hoping a few hours in it would do the trick. {This reminds me that I need to go put those items BACK in the freezer!} Chris and my Mom (and kids) arrived at the same time, 2:36pm (I remember looking at the clock). Mom got busy making spiced cider...oh, to find she brought the wrong cord. Scratch that. Then, WalMart didn't have pinwheels, so Chris picked up pizza rolls. I whipped up a spinach dip {which made me wonder why I didn't get a regular sized food processer}, then, at almost time to begin I went for the punch.

Mind you, all the guests are here at this point. So, I pour the semi-frozen punch out of the plastic bowl and into the punch bowl. Hmmm. It was like strawberry jello. Seriously. I guess because it didn't freeze it just congealed. Gross, it looked like someone cut an artery in my sink. I thought, "Well, I have 2 liters of 7Up and we can have pink lemonade, water, and coffee." My cousin Bonnie came and took a look at the situation. We both agreed it was not servable. Such a waste. But, she coached me to use a 7Up, a can of pineapple juice (thankfully Chris got an extra one at the store!), and pink lemonade. Ta da! It worked! Whew! That was a close one!

Anyhow, everyone appeared to have a great time. Abi Jean sure did! She's in the midst of teething and her sweet cheeks were as red as could be! But, she didn't let that bother her! She chowed down on her cupcake like a pro! Like mother, like daughter!

Abi Jean was blessed with some great presents! She is loved dearly by so many! We appreciate our family and friends that have been a part of Abi Jean's life this past year. She is a true joy!

Great Awakening Update

2009-12-18T05:23:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to get the time to post. Well, let's be honest. Again, I'd still rather read other blogs than update mine! But, now is that moment! Running has been going really well in the past two weeks. Last week I got a bit off-focused. It seems like I get in a regression mode after two weeks. But, I've persevered, thanks to my husband who continues to encourage and gently chastise me if I wonder from the goal!
That being said, he took me to get a new pair of running shoes! And, insoles and socks! What a treat! I had had my other shoes since before I was pregnant with Eli! And, since we don't have health insurance, it's cheaper to get a new pair of shoes than paying to see a podiatrist. Because, well, I have in the past and it's pricey. Plus, an injury would halt my training all together.
The night I got my shoes I was able to run 4 miles straight! So excited! I can't remember the last time I did that! I took yesterday off- my legs were plum tired!
Anyhow, I had been going through my closet and filled two trash bags full of items for Helping Hands. When Chris brought our suitcase in (because we're not procrastinating on the packing front!), it had a bunch of clothes in it that he wanted to know if I wanted to donate. Well, I have two pairs of pants in my closet I try on that really measure my body changes (b/c the scale doesn't cooperate!). And, for the first time, I could zip up the size 8's! Now, they're not quiet ready to wear in public, but it's a start!!!
So, I decided to try on all the "old" clothes. Oh my goodness! There were a size 8, black, Banana Republic pants that Chris got me for my birthday when we were first married...and I can wear them! Yes, the waistband cracked a bit...well...because they haven't been worn in 4 years! But, they're in such good condition that I've not been able to part with them! I also tried on my homecoming dress from my senior year in high school and my going-away dress from my wedding! I told Chris that I can't wait for someone to ask me where I got it and for me to say, "Well, I bought it over 7 years ago for my honeymoon. And, yes, it's taken me another 7 years to get back into it...but, I'm in it!!!" I also tried on the dress I wore to my sister-in-law's wedding this summer - and it's big everywhere! Hurray! I am super pumped about the clothes possibilities that are right around the corner! Thank heavens I have an emotional connection to clothing and didn't throw them out in the past several years! It also reaffirms the value of buying quality classic clothing! When shopping as a teenager/college student my Mom always required that I buy mostly classic clothing pieces. Who knew?! And, yes, I still filled a third bag full of clothes to donate.
So, the new running shoes and "new" clothes really encourages me to keep going! Today is another 3 miler (who knew that would seem so easy?!) and tomorrow is the big 5 miles! I've started charting routes in the neighborhood to run on decent weather days.
Tonight we're having Christmas with my family at our home! I can't wait for the kids (including Chris) to open their presents. Tomorrow we begin the descent South. We'll spend the night in Conway, then drive to Jackson, MS to stay with my dearest college friend and her family. I'm hoping we can run together on Monday! Then, Monday afternoon we head to Louisiana!
On Tuesday Chris and I are going to Gulfport, MS to spend the day shopping and just together. We'll be celebrating 7 years of wedded bliss...and the Gulf Coast brings back lots of memories of early married life. Maybe I'll share some of that on another post.
So, obviously, if you're still reading this, I had a lot to write about. And, the kids are still sleeping, and my home is buzzing (washing machine, dryer, coffee pot, dish washer).
Thanks for enduring the babbling! May you have a wonderful weekend with your family!

Rogers Christmas Parade

2009-12-09T05:48:00.000-08:00

Monday night we took the family to the Rogers Christmas Parade. The last one we attended, well, I was a senior in high school and Chris and I had minimum interest in each other! Oh, the difference 10 years can make!

Anyhow, we met up with the Keelings at the Rogers Board of Realtors office. We celebrated Ms. Cindy's birthday with cake, soup, cookies, and all sorts of other goodies. It was like our own private box for the parade! Which was nice since it was about 35 degrees outside!

Eli was awestruck! He loved the policemen on their motorcycles, the firemen, the schoolbus (for a church), and all the Snoopy's. But, I think his favorite was the Heritage marching band. He has talked about them every day since!

Uncle Cliff bought Eli a red light-up sword. That was also a big hit. If we had a dollar for everytime we've had to say, "Don't hit anything with your sword! Watch out!"

Abi had a great time too. She watched part of the parade inside with Ms. Cindy. She wore her red fleece jammies that say "Snow Cute." Which, she is.

After the parade we rode around to look at Christmas lights. Eli is passionate about them! We've decided this is a definite family tradition!

Here are a few pictures of our evening:

Sleep Tight

2009-12-08T21:56:00.001-08:00

Here's the thing. My life can sometimes seem so busy. And, at times, so slow. And, at times, burdensome. And, at times, very light.

I think I felt all of these today.

Every night I check on the kids before I turn in to bed. And, watching them rest and dream makes me realize just how blessed I am to be their Mama. Even on the hard days, I am blessed.

Just the other day...

And, then this day...

And, now...

Life update

2009-12-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I've got another 3 miler under my belt! One more, then it's up to 4 miles! It's amazing how the battle is mental. I guess it's pretty much like life in general.
Yesterday was a weird evening. It's like I was trying to create a situation where a certain sin would "just happen." Totally Satan screwing with me. And, my mind battled with "oh, there's always grace, etc." And, if you know me, then you know that I loathe when grace and mercy are blatantly taken advantage of. But, thankfully, the Lord was protecting me (once again). And, I'm forever thankful for His protection.
I've also had some other challenges the last few days. Again, mentally. I just don't do well in general when I'm tired. But, it's like at night I have a hard time going to sleep. I think it's because Chris is a night owl and I relate me staying up to quality time with him. Anyhow, so I get stressed about owning our own business and literally, within 5 minutes we had two people interested in insurance. Chris was like, "I was just praying for this." Thank you Lord!
Anyhow, the kids are amazing me every day! Abi has began clapping...or doing patty cake. She's also full of smiles and googlie talk. I think she's working on food. Also, today she discovered the duck call! It's so funny! She crawls across the living room with it in her mouth, sucking in to make the call! Then, she smiles and giggles and can't do it just then! Which, cracks her up more! Eli is learning more each day. He really enjoys our undivided attention! And gum, and suckers and popcorn! In fact, right now he's snuggled on the couch with Chris, under Chris' old blanket with football players on it, while watching Rudy.
Our family is doing well. We're continuing to learn to walk by faith and enjoying not worrying about our abilities, but our availability.

My Great Awakening

2009-11-30T18:53:00.001-08:00

I have a lot I want to write about, so I'll just get started and hope my fingers can keep up with my mind.

One of my favorite books in high school was The Great Awakening. I feel like I'm going thru my own great awakening. Like, that it's finally ok for me to be me again. Like, while being a mom and wife are definitely my roles, I can still be me. And, being me makes me better at those roles.

Here are some examples of things I've done recently that I haven't since I became pregnant with Eli (3 years ago!)...

- Bought a nice pair of boots

- Bought a nice pair of jeans (2 sizes smaller!)

- Got contacts, again (after 1 1/2 years of only wearing glasses)

- Invested in a daily face cleansing system

- Bought a nice pair of panties

- Bought a nice winter coat

- Got modern sunglasses

- Began straightening my hair

...and many more, I'll have to think as I write. And, yes, I do realize most of those include making a purchase. Shallow? Maybe. But, it's a big step for this mother of two young ones.

I've also started running again. My mom (and maybe sister-in-law) and I have decided to train for a half marathon in March. It's a big task ahead. Definitely a God-sized goal. But, I do believe this is the needed scratch to my itch of my great awakening. I use to be much more everything before having children. And, well, I had two within 18 months. I don't want to be the person that wakes up with my kids in school to realize that I've not cared for myself in years. It would be a personal nightmare.

But, I've felt helpless to do anything about it. Some would say, "Enjoy the time with your young ones." Well, this has nothing to do with not enjoying them. I will not be pressured into going to a gym ($ and time issues). For me, my issue is food. And, it's a spiritual battle. Yes, they do exist. And, for me, eating is an obedience to the Lord issue. What am I willing to give up in order to obey Him? Or disobey Him? I want to be a happier, more satisfied and self-confident mom and wife. And, a healthier one. And, an example to my daughter that while being a mom is fantastic, it doesn't mean an end of her own uniqueness.

If you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there with my rambling.

Anyhow, I've ran 3 times in the past week. Which is twice more consecutively since getting pregnant with Eli. And, I felt much stronger today. Ran 3 miles straight! Go me! What I love most about running is that it is all personal me time. I think and pray the whole time. In college, when I ran a lot, I always thought about God's name Emmanuel, which means "God with us." And, I think it is rather applicable while I run. And, now it's Christmas time, so I get to hear lots of Emmanuel while I run. Which, I feel is like my personal encouragement straight from the One.

Back to what I was saying, we had missionaries from Germany speak at our church on Sunday. Ms. Cheryl said something that I have chewed on a lot since then. She said that being called to the African bush (before Germany) was clearly God saying "I don't want your abilities, I want your availability." Stop and re-read that. And, pause. Wow. How my life would change if I lived by this. Daily. Hourly. I thought about this a lot on my run tonight because the goal was to run 3 miles without walking. And, my abilities are still weak. And, it was a beautiful moment of resting in His truth.

And, the other beautiful moment was at about the 2.2 mile mark when the Heart of Worship song came on. As I was relishing in the words of this common song, it was like the Lord was saying, "Yeah, you're worth it. You are worth having this goal. You are worth the prize."

And, that was when I knew that I would make the 3 mile run. And, will make the 13.1 mile run in March. And, that it's ok for me to take this personal time to invest in myself. It's making me a better wife and mom and everything else. And, a big props to Chris for fully supporting me in this endeavor (the whole Great Awakening and the race). He's encouraging and takes over for the kids while I train.

So, I have three goals for this race: 1) Finish 2) Be stronger 3) Run the whole time And, as I ran tonight, those goals changed order. Except for the finish part. That's definitely #1!

Again, if you're still reading, thanks.

All this to say that I'm addicted to this Great Awakening. Of relishing that who God made me to be is something worth pursuing! Oh, the freedom in that realization!

More to come on the training progress. Thankfully, today was a success and tomorrow is a rest day!

And, now it is time for me to go shower!

Things I want to remember

2009-11-29T04:17:00.001-08:00

The kids have been so busy being so gosh-darn cute and I want to bottle it all up so I can remember it in a few years. So, here's a meager attempt to recap some of those moments...

While putting up the Christmas tree, Eli ran to his room to get his crocs. He came out and put them on and said that he was now ready to work. His Dad has his crocs on too!

While putting up the Christmas tree, Eli kept saying to Chris, "It's amazing!"

Several times since the tree went up, Eli will say either "Mama made that" or "Daddy made that."

Chris taught Eli to lay under the tree and look at the lights from the bottom. Eli's eyes are wild with fascination.

The kids have been playing fiercely with a quilted nativity set that Chris' mom made a few years back. At night, Eli prays for all the animals in the stable. Oh, and wants to see the water in the camels hump!

Eli and I worked on a Christmas train craft in front of the tree and Eli said, "See Mama's pretty nails." So funny! Where does this come from?!?!

Eli learned how to make Monkey Bread. And, he's a great sampler! Abi learned how much she likes Monkey Bread.

Abi is waving, saying "Mama" and "Dada." She also does the sign for bottle and says "baba."

Eli can pretty much give a recap of the Christmas story. The real one, not the movie.

Eli is crazy about Alvin and the Chipmunks and all things Jingle Bell related.

Christmas light seeing has never been this much fun. Eli will say, "Mama, Daddy, have to go find more Christmas lights" and "Oooh, look at that, look at that, oh my goodness!"

When telling Eli about why Jesus was born and that he lives in my heart, Eli tried to pull my sweatshirt down and said, "Want to see him." The.sweetest.thing.ever.

It's hard to believe that two years ago this Thanksgiving was Eli's first night to eat baby food. It was green beans and sweet potatoes. And, all over the place!

Cousin Time

2009-11-12T21:06:00.001-08:00

There is nothing in the whole entire world like cousins. Chris and I are blessed to be close with our cousins and it is a joy to watch Eli and Abi interact with theirs. Tonight the Wood's came over for dinner. {I tried new recipes, check them out at the recipe blog!}

While at the dinner table, Braden said, "Aunt Kitty is cool! Uncle Chris drools!" To which Hunter said, "Uncle Chris, do you know what that means? Drool, like when it comes out of the side of your mouth." HILARIOUS!!!

And, of course, there was plenty of movies and popcorn...

Provision

2009-10-28T08:07:00.001-07:00

I know I should blog more, but, it's just not a daily (or weekly) thing right now.

That being said, I don't want to loose the power of the moment. I've been dealing with a lot of stress lately. And, trying to figure out the best way to deal with it all. I am poured out over and over again, but not taking the time to fill up.

I must go to the Lord. I must spend dedicated time reading the Bible. I must make an effort to have quiet communication with Jesus. I use the word must, because it's non negotiable. Nothing else helps. Any other attempts just lead to temporary fixes. And, the fixing I need requires more than the temporary. Here's the verse (with my emphasis): "She who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalms 91:1 The key is that it is my choice to dwell or not to dwell. And, I must dwell.

This morning I was talking with the Lord about how I am dealing with feelings of being overwhelmed and underachieving. All.the.time. And, with no end in sight. As I logged on to facebook (to see what optimistic thoughts others have), my cousin had this verse as her status: "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I am!" Psalms 61:2 And, I thought, "Yes, that is right where I need to be." Lead me to the Rock. The unshakable Rock. I rested in this verse as I made coffee, made breakfast, answered phone calls, changed diapers, made a grocery list, and loaded the dishwasher. After cleaning up breakfast, I saw the stack of mail from yesterday that hadn't been opened. There was the usual notices about health insurance, a thank-you card, and a letter from Ford. I opened it last. I figured it was a "rebate" for our next new Ford. (No, we're not even close to looking, but it seems to be one of their new marketing plans.) And, low and behold, there was a rebate check from when we got new tires a few months back! It's not a lot, but it's not the amount that matters, it's God timing.

In our revival this week, Dr. RE Clark talked about God's provision. This word means that God has the vision before we see it. God creates the need so that we see His provision.

The dots are connecting faster than I can type. Yes, God has interrupted my life quiet a bit lately. Yes, God has created many needs. And, yes, God is showing me his provision. It's scary to be required to walk by faith (especially if you're a Type A planner). But, seeing God's provision is sweeter than any plan I could put together on my own.

Thank you, Lord, for being my Rock and for being big enough to handle my feelings and my reality. And, for your provision.

2 Random Acts of Kindness

2009-10-07T14:39:00.000-07:00

Today I witnessed two random acts of kindness.
The first was at a middle school where I was doing some special testing to 7th grade PE classes. There was a boy who had been wearing the same pair of tennis shoes since last year. The sole on one of them flapped and he would tape it up each day before class. A coach brought him a pair from his home - a pair he said he wasn't using...but, I swear they looked brand new. He gave him to the boy in the teacher's area and another coach made sure they fit right. This kid was very excited to run laps in the gym in his new New Balances. No announcement. No applause. But, definitely an act of kindness that did not go unnoticed.
The second happened a mere five minutes ago. I was checking the mail and opened an envelope. There was a brief, yet beautiful, letter from some people dear to us that wanted to show their love to us and help us during this economy. Enclosed was some much needed and unexpected financial help.
I am reminded daily that God shows up right when we need him. And in ways that I can't understand. And in ways that I don't deserve.

Eli's first joke...

2009-09-28T18:59:00.001-07:00

As we were driving thru town, Eli was singing Old McDonald. As we drove past a certain store, his song was "and on that farm he had a Lowe's..." and he paused... and cracked up laughing! He is so funny! And, he thinks he is too!
Then, tonight, we heard an ambulance go by and he said, "Ambulance...pray." A few weeks back we passed a wreck and said a prayer for the people involved. Eli said, "Boo boo's. They cry." And, his eyes got very red like he was going to cry any minute. We quickly said a prayer for the people to get better. Eli was glad to know they were going to the hospital to get band-aids. Preferably with Elmo on them!

Seeing the Lord

2009-09-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

"I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. I take back everything I said, and I sit in dust and ashes to show my repentance"
—Job 42:–6

There's a huge difference between hearing about God and actually encountering God. Before his suffering, Job based his life on what he knew about God. And that was accurate knowledge, as the next verses show (God says Job was right in what he said about God). However, Job's understanding was deepened by a personal encounter with God. When that happened, all Job could do was repent and acknowledge his own limitations.
—Diane Eble, author of Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions

God is good, all the time. And, all the time, God is good. I have been freshly reminded of God's protection, peace, and provision this week in several different ways. As the adventure of being a small business owner continues, the Lord has met us each step of the way. He has answered each of our questions. Again, affirming our decision. And, he's provided for us in ways and at the exact moment that leaves us actually encountering him. No if's-and-or-but's about it. It's him.

And, tonight I made Fettuccine Alfredo. Or, as Eli calls it "Fettuccine Play Dough." Adorable.

Getting focused

2009-09-22T04:58:00.001-07:00

The last week has been intense. Emotions everywhere, decisions made, plans made, parties thrown, family visited, and work done. Each day I'm one day closer to finishing the marathon of events that go thru October. Yesterday was a full and productive day. I had an impromptu dentist visit, which really made me thankful for insurance and good doctors and staff. And, good kids that are entertained with a big fish tank, a classic planes book, a big toy with lots of metal pipes and wood squares/triangles/circles that travel on them... and their Dad!

The evening was a bit crazy, thanks to the craziness of others. As the story unravelled, it has become apparent that the Lord has some great things planned and Satan is doing his best to get me distracted, overwhelmed, and defeated. My response? It's time for me to get focused on what God has led me to do. Laser focused.

While taking a hot shower (such a great stress outlet!), this verse covered me: "Every word of God proves true, he is a shield to those who seek refuge in him." (Proverbs 30:5) Every.word.of.God. Not the words of busy women, or of business leaders, or of political activists- but, every.word.of.God. And, he is my shield. I could literally see a shield around me, where I am protected and able to focus on the task at hand.

As I enjoyed the true Southern Comfort (Marshmallow Lover's Hot Chocolate) and Dr. Gregory House in my new Razorback pj's with my husband in our fantastic king-sized bed (don't you just love your bed?!), I thought about the crazy storm outside our window. And, again, this verse brought peace to my heart.

With the storms (of all kinds) at full force last night, I was able to relax and rest in the protection of God's shield. Because, every.word.of.God.proves.true.

Now, it's time for my cup of coffee and to get focused on today's tasks.

The Great Pursuit

2009-09-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

Wise men still seek Him.

Not perfect, not whole, but wise.

Enough said.

Randomness

2009-09-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

We've had a busy week. And, lots of people are doing some really neat stuff. My friend Cindy has started a Cleanse. Anyhow, not sure about all of that, but you can follow her progress at her new blog: drcindyblog.com. Josh, Deb, and Ian recently moved to Rogers and yesterday the kids and I hung out with Deb and Ian. The kids are so funny to watch together! I foresee lots of wrestling matches and games of tag in Eli and Ian's near future!
We ate dinner over there last night. Deb thawed some tilapia, but neither of us had cooked it before! So, I used the trusty internet to get a recipe from Kraft Foods. But, we totally altered it. I said, "Well, I watch the Food Network a lot when I'm at my Mom's house and they always say to not underestimate using the simple things. Salt, pepper, and olive oil." So, that's what I used, plus Tony's, and it was fantastic! I was really apprehensive serving fish that I'd never made before! But, everyone ate it and no one's sick today! PTL!
Well, the guy just showed up to work on my computer. See ya!

Hump Day

2009-09-16T20:05:00.001-07:00

My head hurts like no body's business. Plus, I actually can't remember when we had a day without rain. Oh well. I know we need it.
Eli's been fighting a virus. Tonight's his first night in the last 3 to go to bed without a fever. But, he's such a trooper...he didn't know he was suppose to feel sick! Other than being a little cranky, he kept on!
On a very random note...I think our local news lady wears the hair bump thing in her hair. Seriously. It doesn't do her any favors. Oh well, I guess she has a stylist and it's their job, not mine.
I've kinda been in a blah mood today. Maybe lately. I just feel like my to-do list continues to grow and that I'm not doing any of it well. I never thought of myself as a "push over," but I feel like people just "mention" projects/things to do and it's automatically implied that I'll handle it or be an integral part of it. I'm sure I'm being over sensitive. But, seriously, I've got so much on my plate thru the end of October. Yeah, none of it business related. I have recently more-than-once told my husband that I can sum me up as one that doesn't live up to everyone's expectations, so he can get in line with the others. Sad, huh?
But, the Lord is good and he will help me through it all. And, to say no to any future projects. My goal is to not book my schedule with non-work related projects thru the end of the year. This will be hard because of the holidays, but I am committed to trying to keep my schedule open of lots of extras. I want to be available to to my husband and kids- oh, yeah, and our business. I need to have the energy to work on our business!
With that, it's after 10pm and my head/neck/shoulders are throbbing. Sorry for the down and out post. I am blessed and am ready to rest in my favorite bed! Mine!

Where I was...

2009-09-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

I'll admit. I remembered yesterday that today was Sept 11. But, I hadn't thought about it much today. I was at the church working and not connected to any media. Anyhow, since I've been home, I've caught up on some blogs and watched a Fox News special on that Tuesday.
Here's my story.
I was a junior in college, at Ouachita Baptist University. I had a strategic management test at 11:00. I skipped chapel to do some more studying. Since I knew 95% of the campus would be at chapel, I went to the cafeteria to study. I got my plate and chose a booth as far away from the food (and staff) as possible. As I sat down to enjoy my scrambled eggs (ok, I know, it's weird the details you remember) and get my books out, I noticed the radio was on. I thought that was really odd. I listed for like 10 seconds and thought, "I guess the staff is all into the Left Behind book series on tape." Seriously. I waited a minute or two later. And, I realized they were listening to the news. And, I remember thinking that that was also odd. And, I just felt uncomfortable. Like, the pieces of the puzzle weren't fitting together. Why was the radio on in the caf? Why was it on really really loud? And, what was this about planes and NYC and LA? I decided I was not going to get any studying done in the caf. The best I could do was go back to the room (since the suite was all at chapel) and check in with Fox. As I excited the caf and began walking to the dorm, I glanced at the flag plaza. The maintenance crew were lowering all of the flags. I immediately knew something was wrong. Really wrong. I took the sharp right turn to go behind the Bible building...and then, there were all the people pouring out of JPAC...at 10:15. Chapel starts at 10 and lasts at least 45 minutes. Students were crying, talking, and mainly speed walking to their dorms. I began running and took the stairs 2 at a time, then rushed down the hall (we were the second room to the end). When I entered the room, Abigail and Tara were on my bed watching Fox (they didn't have TV in their room). It was unbelievable what we were seeing. This was a Tuesday and Tara's brother was to deploy to South Korea the next Monday. I remember calling my Mom at work. I had to call back and have them page her. When she got on the phone she began to cry. I'm sure I did to. She had a meeting at the WMT home office that afternoon. Later to find out that they had to park a long way away b/c of the safety precautions they had to take.
I went to my 11am class. The professor, Dr. Kent Faught, let us postpone taking the test if we wanted to. I immediately left and returned to watch the news. I later went over to Chris' house and I remember us sitting on the couch watching the coverage and talking about gas prices. I also remember going to a special prayer service in the plaza.
I also remember watching the President address the country. And, after watching it again tonight, I remember why I so strongly support George W. Bush. Seriously. Regardless how the last few years of his administration went, I am confident that his leadership after that Tuesday was exceptional. And, something every American can be proud of.
This evening has also gotten my blood boiling again about the coward terrorists. And, here's the bottom line. They quickly encountered who the One True God is...and how the eternal pain and torture of hell makes their actions seem like...well, I'll let you finish that line. Bottom line - they are reaping what they sowed.
I am forever thankful to the many service men and women that have and are and will protect our country. When my path crosses a service person, I always make it a point to tell them that I appreciate what they do for my family. And, I mean it with all heart.
With that. I'm off to hold my little girl for a few more minutes.

Farewell

2009-09-10T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal. I have had a recent friendship that I'm pretty sure was self-gratifying (for the other person). I always hoped for a friendship with this lady because she has a lot of interesting things going on in her life. And, I wanted our friendship to strengthen her ties to our church. She hosted a monthly get-together that I joined...and paid for. I enjoyed it. Learned a lot. Got to meet a lot of new ladies. But, it was at a time where our finances were t.i.g.h.t. But, I believe in following through with my commitments. Immediately after I began these get-togethers, this lady and her family basically quit coming to our church. Oh, you know, they'd stay out too late on Saturday night, or the husband wouldn't "lead" the family in going to church. Just fill in the blank with a good excuse. I noticed a pattern of comments with the ladies in the get-togethers. It seemed they were replacing the organized church with other Christian activities. Kids are in Awanas, members of Christian homeschooling group, members of Christian mothering groups, etc. But, they were not committed to their local church. Weird. For me, at least, Sunday has always been about the Lord's house and the other activities were extra.
Anyhow. This lady friend had some extremely difficult circumstances come her way. During this time, she reached out for help from basically anyone but her church family. While many were willing to help, no one knew of the need. It was sad to me that one would not think of their church family in their moment of need. In the process, our pastor and our church body took the hit via her publishing outlet that for the first time she truly experienced the body of Christ and that it was not found in her local church. Esperame. Or, in English, spare me. This really rubs me raw. But, I made an effort to stay in touch and be supportive (again, my original goal). And, I've really tried my best to release this crazy not-really-friendship to the Lord. As long as she is where the Lord wants her, then, that should be enough for me, regardless of my opinions.
Anyhow, in the mix of things, I believe we have been more than supportive of their business. And, I really believe we don't owe them our business. Basically because I believe they used our circumstances for their gain, and when they didn't need or get the gain they were looking for, then they moved on to the next opportunity.
All this to say, I've done my best to keep my mouth shut about all of this. Because it saddens me. And, I've been having a ton of crazy dreams lately and one was about this lady friend. And, I was shocked at how I treated her. Which, for me, affirmed that I'm still dealing with the unravelling of this whole ordeal.
Anyhow, the final straw was today. While browsing her personal publishing outlet, I noticed that she deleted my personal publishing outlet from her list (which only has about 10 anyway). I definitely believe this is a silent, yet clear, message to me.
So, if you're reading this, lady friend, you may not agree with any of this. But, it's my post. And, I really do sincerely wish you well.
Farewell.

Prep work

2009-09-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

Monday was such a full day! This next Sunday is our first services in our new building! {I might have mentioned that before!} So, our whole family spent the day doing lots of little things.
Here are a few things we did and purchased:
-Hanging blinds
-Puddying nail holes
-Hanging foyer decor
-Hanging white boards
-Putting a desk together
-Sweeping
-Hanging bathroom mirror
-Hanging hooks for diaper bags
-Hanging clocks
-Make a ledge for the nursery door
-Scrape extra grout off of the tiles
-Sort out crayons, glue, scissors, hand sanitizor, tissues, trash cans, clip boards
-Install speakers in cry rooms and nursery

And, there is so much more left to do!

Do me a favor...next time you go to church, thank your pastors, staff, and church administrators, and lay people for all the work they do to get the church ready for you and your family to worship.

Cardboard Testimonies

2009-09-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

The women at Lakeside Baptist Church gave their cardboard testimony. It was fantastic! There was special music and the ladies (about 25 of them) had written on a piece of cardboard what there life was like before Christ, and on the other side after Christ. They walked up to the pulpit and showed their sign. Pretty sure I crieds through the whole thing!

Some of the highlights were:

"Marriage heading to divorce - Marriage heading to Calvary."

"Pregnant @ 16 - 16 yr old son serving the Lord."

"Didn't understand why God asked me to leave my job without another - Thankful to have 7 months at home before my husband died unexpectantly."

"Colon Cancer - By God's grace, 5 years cancer free!"

"After cancer, doctors said we'd never have children - Forgot to tell the doctors the girls are now 20 and 12!"

"Addicted to pain medication - Addicted to Christ!"

"Pastor's wife, head knowledge of Jesus...lost - Heart knowledge of Jesus...saved...May 1998"

"Saved early in life - lived a wonderful life!"

"Lost 2 babies and all my hair in a pit of self pity and hatred - God lifted me out of the pit and put a song of JOY in my mouth!"

"Wondering - For Sure!"

This was done in preparation for their Ladies Conference, this Saturday, Sept 12 from 9-2pm. Registration is at 8:30 and everything is free! If you have time in your schedule, this would be worth your time to see the Cardboart Testimonies!!!

Recap

2009-09-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...it's Labor Day and I'm laboring on the computer! I'll take it! We've had a full and busy weekend! With lots of success.

On Friday we spent a lot of time down at the office working through the requirement for the city. The fire marshall and the city people came and did inspections...along with the forms to complete for getting a business and city license. PTL it all went well!

My parents kept the kids since Chris had his insurance test on Saturday morning. We studied and studied and studied. He called at about 9:45 and told me he passed!!! He said that while he walked to the truck he wanted to tell everyone "Praise the Lord! Blessed be the name of the Lord!" I love that. I don't know about you, but when my husband spontaneously breaks into praise, it just makes me fall in love with him all over again!

I spent the first half of Saturday cleaning! It means a lot that I took the time for my self and my home. We'v been doing so much lately that our home has taken a back seat. I cleaned bathrooms, baseboards, our shower, mopped, put up the clothes, and some blinds. I cleaned off the kitchen table and did a little fall decorating on it. Well, our home was either super dirty or I did a super job because Chris kept saying, "It's really nice, Kitty. It looks really good." Mental note, I should clean more often!

We spent Saturday night at the Keelings watching those Hogs! WOO PIG SOOIE! And, that's really all there is to say about that!

Sunday we went to Lakeside Baptist Church to see Braden be baptised. When the second person was baptized, Eli said (loudly) "They're in the water! ... Ready!" It was SO funny! Then, he said, "Eli be baptized!" And, it tore at my heart. Soon, my love. Soon.

We've been working feverishly at the church getting ready for our FIRST Sunday...this Sunday! It's a lot of work decorating Sunday School rooms! But, it's so exciting to know that people will come to know Jesus and have their lives changed at the church and thru the church!

This weekend I have seen God's hand of work everywhere. My uncle used to pastor out at Lakeside years ago, and I can see the fruits of his work...and now my cousin is the youth pastor there. The legacy continues. Serving the Lord is hard and long work. But, the benefits are out of this world! Press on! Make yourself available to Him and prepare to be blown away!

Verses to chew on

2009-09-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

"For God speaks again and again,

though people do not recognize it. . . .

He whispers in their ears

and terrifies them with warnings.

He makes them turn from doing wrong;

he keeps them from pride."
—Job 33:14, 16–17

Encouragement for Today
Do you wonder if or how God speaks to you? This word tells us that God speaks to us often. We just do not always hear him or recognize his voice. Today, consciously listen for God's voice. Listen for messages of warning and also messages of love. Remember, God whispers; he does not shout. We need to listen for the whisper and recognize his voice. It will always be in the "tone" of Scripture and will never contradict it. If the "messages" you get are in line with God's Word, you can trust them. Listen up!
—Diane Eble, author of Abundant Gifts: A Daybook of Grace-Filled Devotions

Covering the sanctuary with prayer

2009-09-04T06:09:00.001-07:00

As the third post in a row about our new church facility, I want to share with you an event we had a couple of weeks ago. It was truly fantastic. Before the carpet was laid in the sanctuary we had a time of prayer and dedication for the church. We wrote verses and prayers and thoughts on the pulpit area. It was like a culmination of emotions for what the Lord has done and where he has brought us. And...where we are going! God is doing great things in our church and in our families. We are fortunate to be a part of God's work. He has blessed us richly - first and foremost with salvation and redemption of our sin.

Here are some pictures from that special evening.

Micah (the General Contractor!) and Glenda with Eli

We traced the kids hands.

Mom and Eli.

Robbie

This says it all: "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man."

Pics of the sanctuary

2009-09-04T06:01:00.001-07:00

Here is another part of our new church building. It's so exciting to see how it's all turned out because everything goes together! This is a mere miracle because we didn't have an interior decorator or someone that guided us. Well, other than God's guidance. Seriously. Cost drove all choices and it's impressive how well it all goes together! Plus, I like that the colors are not traditional. The sanctuary has a wonderful crisp, yet warm, feel to it. Ready for you to enter the presence of the Lord!

Abi doing what she does best!

Our new piano!

This is a view of the sound booth area and one of two cry rooms. They have 1 way windows for parents of young (and rowdy/restless) kids to take them in there. There are dimmer lights to help with sleeping little ones. Very nice!

This was at a meeting for the FIT ministry. Lots of turn out and interest!

Pics of the preschool and nursery at the new church

2009-09-04T05:51:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, our church is 3 years old and only days away from having our first service at our first permanent building! It has been a massive God-sized and God-everything work! Many have doubted...but God has been faithful! We serve Him, not a building, an address, or a man. Praise the Lord for all he has done for us!
These are a few pictures of the preschool and nursery rooms. Well, the painting at least. We'll move furniture in soon.
The verse in the pre-k room is "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" Psalms 150:6
The verse in the nursery is "Every word of God proves true, he is a shield to those who seek him." Proverbs 30:5
I think if we can teach the children this, they will have a great start!

Hop on over

2009-09-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

to Sara's blog. Basically, Sara is one of my bestest friends in the world. The Lord has blessed me so much thru her friendship. Please take a few minutes to check out her most recent post.

Plus...she's now a lover of Sushi King. Ahhh. Sushi King.

35 Reasons Not to Sin

2009-08-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

Taken from The Rebelution. Very timely. Very true.

35 REASONS NOT TO SIN
Because a little sin leads to more sin.
Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
Because the time spent in sin is forever wasted.
Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
Because my sin saddens the godly.
Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained when in reality I have lost.
Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
Because my sin may influence others to sin.
Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
Because my sin is adultery with the world.
Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
Because to sin is not to love Christ.
Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it is worth anything on it’s own.
Because I promised God he would be Lord of my life.

Blogosphere

2009-08-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Blogging must be addicting.

I'd like to welcome the newest member of the blogosphere - Kyle. He's my brother-in-law and a fantastic uncle to the kiddos. Check out his first post! It's great!

A family of blue eyes

2009-08-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

Our friends, the Kear's, hosted us at their home in Arkadelphia last weekend. We enjoyed the super Southern hospitality and these family pictures!

New sheets, please

2009-08-27T20:48:00.000-07:00

When I look at my new blog background my mind races for all the things I'd like to have in that print. An apron. Curtains. Dish towels. Table cloth. Matching summer dresses for Abi and me.

But, mostly, I'd like a set of king sized soft cotton sheets.

Those flowers would guarantee sweet dreams.
Hmmm...
I'm going to think on that for a while.

Thank you, Aqua Poppy Designs.

Cowgirl Cookies!

2009-08-27T18:26:00.001-07:00

I am in love with these cookies! And, the jar. And, the ribbon. And, the sticker thing. And, the bow. And, just about everything else! Check out all the info over at Bakerella.

New...or new to me

2009-08-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

Our life continues at sonic speed. Not sure how fast that is, but I'm pretty sure it's fast.
We're in the home stretch of finishing the church - the final city inspection is Monday at 1pm! And, things are trying to get going smoothly with the insurance world. I'm going to pick up our signs tomorrow! Pics to come, I'm sure.
So, here are some new blogs for you to enjoy:
The Kears - One of my college suite mates and her hubby are expecting Crosby in January!
The Ashworths - Friends of friends, they're expecting a baby in Feburary 2010!
There Goes Kim - I went to college with Kim. I love reading her journey life - work, newly married, and recipe finding!
The Rebelution - Very interesting movement among the nation's young people!
Ok, the little girl (who is fully crawling!) is fussy. Those teeth are boogers! Literally and figuratively!

Updated Pics of the kids

2009-08-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Cookie Delivery!

2009-08-18T19:43:00.001-07:00

Today, we (the whole family) went to two local schools to drop-off trays of cookies for teachers. Tomorrow is their first day back. The cookies (Chocolate Peanut Butter Blossoms) were from our Agency and we provided a card and brochures. You know, marketing 101. Here are some pictures...

What marketing ideas have you used or enjoyed? We would sure love to hear from you!

Church Landscape Pictures

2009-08-18T19:41:00.001-07:00

Catching Up

2009-08-18T19:31:00.000-07:00

Fine. I'll admit it. I'm the worst blogger ever. Well, I'm the best blogger-checker, but I definitely have not been disciplined to post. I have lots to discuss. But, lately, I'm been so bone tired, that I'd rather mindlessly look at your blog.
We are in full swing with getting the business going. It's exciting. And challenging. I had a near breakdown yesterday. The learning curve is steep. Plus, I'm still waiting on passwords, access to certain things, etc. Oh well. I have to keep telling myself it won't always be like this. I'm so ready to be at a place where all of this is turn-key.
We've also been busy finishing up at the church. It's looking great! Chris has worked so hard (plus me, his slave) with the landscaping. The project is so much bigger than what we first thought! But, it makes the church so inviting and lovely! Dad and Micah have busted some serious man-hours doing just about everything. This week the doors will be hung (after being painted), carpet laid, cryroom and nursery glass put in, and some other stuff. We had a great meeting on Sunday afternoon about the kids ministry. I so appreciated everyone's ideas and passion!
The kids are crazy funny. They are perfect playmates for each other. Abi is trying her best to keep up with her brother. And, he is just as gentle with her as ever!
I also have recently seen an example of mercy. Not sure if I'll post about it. Maybe. We'll see. Ok, good night.

I would rather

2009-08-13T12:13:00.001-07:00

read other people's blogs than write on my own!

Open for business!

2009-07-29T17:46:00.001-07:00

We have been so busy the last month. Chris and I are opening a Farmers Insurance Agency in Springdale. We are very excited about this opportunity! We have been completing our coursework and state licensing requirements. Whew! Glad that's over with! But, it has spurred the excitement for getting going! We are licensed to sell auto, home, and commercial insurance in Arkansas...and life insurance everywhere (as long as you'll come within the borders of the great state of Arkansas to sign paperwork!). So, if you'd like a quote or to discuss your insurance needs just give us a contact!

Here are a few of the recent Farmers commercials:

Quickly

2009-07-21T05:03:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update...as Abi is awake and playing in her crib...
Chris and I have finished our courses for insurance. Now...on to the state tests. We each have two over then next week. But...then! We are ready to open for business!
The Lord has been very kind to care for us during this transition time.
Our church building is almost done! I'll have to post pics in a bit with the walls painted! Our first Sunday is projected to be August 30! So, consider it an invite...and come!
The kids are growing exponentially. It's amazing. But, they are so happy and seem to enjoy each day!
Here is a list of some prayer requests floating thru my head this morning:
Our tests/business opening
Our church (finances, building completion, visitors, lost ones)
The family in our family dealing with separation
The Bell family - dealing with cancer
Hope - that each of us would rely on the One True Hope instead of many false ones (government, our jobs, our bank accounts, etc)

First Love

2009-07-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

I need to post about a lot of things. Vacation. Unemployment. New business start up. Our church. Friends.
But, really, there's one situation that keeps coming to mind. We have a family in our family (does that make sense?) that is going through a very rough time. So rough that I can not imagine all the issues and the issues those cause. What I do know is that lots of people are hurting deeply and I believe no one will come out the winner. Everyone will lose. At least something.
What do you do when your marriage has every appearance of being over? What about when your spouse refuses to reconcile...or attempt to reconcile? What happens when your parents, who raised you to honor God in every decision, come to this place in their lives?
The only answer I can come up to is: return to your first Love. Seek Him with all you have...and earnestly...and honestly. Not trying to persuade God to bless your direction or to justify your actions as acceptable to him. But, in a way that leaves you open and vulnerable to hear directly from his mouth. Through seeking Him, He will reveal his good and perfect plan. He will show us where we are wrong and will show us mercy and grace.
There are things we know we ought not to do...and just because we're in a tough situation or because we feel wronged, we don't get a green pass to do as we please. We don't. "Live as free men (and women), but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God." 1 Peter 2:16
Again, when we find ourselves with our back to the wall, or at the bottom of a mud pit, or at wits end...return to your first Love. And hopefully, in time, your other first love will also be restored.
God is long suffering. Jesus wept. He empathizes with our sorrow. With betrayal. With loneliness. Oh, but his mercies are so sweet. It's sad that we always want His mercy...but we're not willing to give it to others.
Lastly, love covers a multitude of wrongs.
I am earnestly praying for the family in our family. And for our family in general. Because, we're not islands...our decisions affect more than just ourselves. They affect everyone.
Return to your first Love. Return quickly.

ElePhantastic Pink

2009-06-29T05:39:00.000-07:00

I have an obsession with OPI nail polish. Especially in the summer. It's a little more expensive than what you'd buy at WalMart...but there is no comparison with the quality. And, most of the joy is in the names of the colors. Some of my favorites are Koala Bear-y, La Paz-itively Hot, DC Cherry Blossom, and You're a Pisa Work.
My latest favorite is ElePhantastic Pink.
I almost bought it when I got Abi her Bubble Bath. But, I went with DC Cherry Blossom instead. I have often thought of ElePhantastic Pink and how I could have a reason to have to go to the mall and how to justify the $8.50 to purchase the lovely shade. So, on my way to get my pedicure, I pondered the selection and hoped to find the one.
Imagine my surprise when the first bottle I picked up was ElePhantastic Pink!!! Seriously. It was a sign! No more looking for me. I felt an instant satisfaction. Well done, well done. Only another true OPI fan would appreciate finding the color on the first try! I'm obviously drawn to it.
So, I've been observing my toes. Enjoying my ElePhantastic Pink. Deciding to definitely find a way to the mall.
I love summer. I love OPI. Summer + OPI = happiness!

Weekend full of fun!

2009-06-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

Our weekend was fast and furious. And great. I can honestly say that I thoroughly enjoy being with my husband. Now...the one vehicle thing...well...it's an adjustment. But, it really makes us communicate and plan. And, we get to hold hands a lot more! And, smile at each other as Eli says silly things and Abi coos.
Anyhow, Chris worked at our church painting the red iron and sprinkler lines in the sanctuary on Thursday and Friday. That may have been a run on sentence. Oh well. We wanted/needed a cool down, so we went to Aunt Lindsey's to swim. Eli loved his news trunks and vest. Abi enjoyed swirling around too. The water was so warm. And, the burgers were delicious!
On Saturday, we ventured down to Fayetteville. Mom met them at Toys R Us - Eli needed a helmet for outdoor activities in Kentwood. He also got a little computer thing. More to come on that after our trip. We then headed to Target where I got the bathing suit I wanted...thankfully, no more wearing the maternity swim suit from last summer. Oh, and we went swimming again! So lovely. We went to an outdoor wedding. Oh.my. I haven't been that hot in a very long time. The wedding and wedding site were beautiful, but the heat just about ruined it all. It wasn't just the heat - but keeping my little ones from having heat strokes! Abi was stripped down within the first 5 minutes. Anyhow, there were lots of efforts to keep them cool.
Yesterday we had a lovely time at church. We had dinner on the ground - I always enjoy that. Chris had to finish up some painting and I redeemed my Easter present and got a pedicure. Oh my. More to come on that too. We went to watch some local fireworks. We couldn't see them really well...but that didn't stop Eli from having a blast.
And, now? Well, I'm working on the zillionth load of laundry. We leave soon for Louisiana! With every passing hour I get more excited. And a bit anxious about getting everything done!
I should probably fold clothes before the little ones wake.....

The long and the short of it

2009-06-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

I should blog more often. I have so many things to write about...but the time just flies by. I often wonder is my posts would be too serious, too boring. Well, hey, it's my blog! Anyhow, in the midst of wondering if I should blog about certain personal topics, this verse was waiting for me in my in-box:

"Then I will thank you in front of the great assembly.
I will praise you before all the people."

—Psalm 35:18

I most certainly believe it is important to be transparent about our struggles and victories...how else do we really know the power of the One we serve? Yes, it can leave one vulnerable to others opinions...but in the end, we serve an audience of One, and he deserves to be recognized for his goodness, mercy, compassion, and (fill in the blank).

I have blogged before about our family's "restructuring." This has to do with our decision for me to not return to work. This would be a 60% cut in our family's income. Basically, we would lose money if we had to pay daycare for 2 or if I stayed home, so we opted for option number two. But, we firmly believe that this is what the Lord's will is...and therefore we trust in Him and let him make the difference in our balance sheet.

About a month ago the situation got very dim. Very. Bills were coming in, the expected or hoped for financial help had been cut off, and it was tough to not be cynical. I was doing my best to not lecture the Lord on how it was time for him to open heaven's window and bless our home...to please lead someone to drop a check in our mail box...to somehow give Chris' a big raise...anything. I didn't sleep well for about 3 days (not a good combination). Chris and I were amicable, but the stress was so thick. On a Thursday, we made some big decisions and began working the plan. This included selling my vehicle, cancelling texting (hey - the money goes a long way when buying formula), and cancelling the little monthly donation I make to my beloved OBU. We were going to be under on the sell of my vehicle so we had to try and get a loan for the difference...which our local bank that I use to work for and have been customers of for 12+ years denied us! I read a blog post of a friend that was discussing tithing (very introspective) and I wondered if this was an area of grace (more to come on this). I was suppose to go to the dentist that day, but while sitting in the parking lot waiting for my Dad to get the kids, I broke down - cancelled my dr's appt and drove home totally bewildered at what we were going to do. Thankfully, the kids wanted to nap when we got home. I did too.

My Dad came over that evening and talked with me about an opportunity to open a Farmer's Insurance Agency. We could use part of his tax office and it would give us the flexibility I wanted/needed with the kids. And, eventually Chris would come join the business full-time. So I filled out the basic questionnaire to see what there was to see. I went to bed that night with a zillion questions and concerns, but above them all was this verse, "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps." Prov. 16:9

That Friday was super sunny, so I decided to get out of the house. The kids and I went to F'ville to meet Mom for lunch. I took a few minutes to work on plan G for paying the difference of the Edge, and it seemed to be working out. I also got some good news about my vesting with the company in August. As I was walking in the P&G building my cell phone rang. It was my HR manager (that I haven't spoken to in months) wanting to know if I could come by that afternoon to talk about my package. I stopped in my tracks. I had signed up to possibly receive a voluntary severance package back in late January. Here, at the end of May, I was stunned! After lunch, I met with the powers that be and they offered me a ridiculous amount of money to NOT return to work! It was all I could do to not break out in praise! But, internally I was for sure!

Seriously. The Lord IS good. Seriously.

I laughed and laughed and laughed when I got out of that meeting. God is so good. Takes care of his children. I was reminded of a sermon Dad just preached about the woman and the jars of oil. The Lord not only met our basic needs (food for kids), but provided an abundance for us to live on. Chris said when I called him with the news it was like a load was lifted off of his chest. In fact, I stopped at Sonic (during Happy Hour) to get celebratory drinks!

That Sunday, during a conversation with a few people after church (and not about our situation at all), a friend commented that "you don't just tithe when you can, you tithe when you can't and let the Lord show up." He has no idea that I had been pondering this exact thing. It was like a light went off. Done. No more discussion.

I've met with the people at Farmer's and am half way thru my licensing process. Chris and I have so been looking forward to this new opportunity for our family. Plus, he'll have so much more time with our family! We received very few (less than 5) inquiries about my vehicle. But, then, my sister-in-law had an unfortunate wreck that totalled her vehicle. On Monday, I was cleaning out the inside getting it ready for her to pick up that afternoon, and the Lord was really speaking to me. Reminding me that he is in control. He orchestrated all of these events and is taking care of us (both our family and my brother's family). We both had needs that we were able to meet for each other. I resolved to do my best to not take for granted how great it is to know that the Lord IS in control...even though his timing and ways are not mine. He doesn't need my approval. Well, let's face it - his ways are better than mine, so we'll leave it at that. But, the Lord and I were having an Ebeneezer moment - reminding me of his faithfulness, goodness, and love.

So, that evening while I was bathing Abi, Chris came home (early) and told me he had lost his job. We were expecting this to happen - but were hoping it wouldn't be until after the new business was up and running. We are at a complete peace. Although there is no income for the moment...we are at peace. There are no hard feelings, no anxieties, no sleepless nights. In fact, I've slept better this week than in a long time.

We began looking at what needs to be done for Chris to get up-to-speed with the insurance stuff...and he will be totally licensed when I am! In fact, we'll take the last set of classes together! This is superb b/c of two huge concerns we had...1)how to manage with 1 vehicle and 2)how to handle the kids when clients come in.

And, yes, Chris did go first thing to the unemployment office. How do you dress for that? (this is funny only to the ones who know the story behind this question) But, you know, we have paid into this for many years, and we are going to use every bit of what is available. And, it appears it isn't much less than his take home pay was! I could write a ton about the face of unemployment...especially now that we are in that boat.

But, I share all of this (if you've made it this far in the post) as a testament of Jesus Christ, my Savior, my Lord, my Redeemer, my Provider, my Shield, and my Portion. He is good. All the time. All the time. He is good.

Join us again for more adventures in the Osmon household!

Summer Nights

2009-06-19T20:15:00.001-07:00

The last two evenings have been absolutely wonderful! I mean. I couldn't think of anything else I'd change...well, maybe that Chris didn't have to go to work! Anyhow...our entire family has been outdoors for hours the last two nights. Chris has been working in the yard - and naturally, his helper is close behind. I love watching those two interact. Abi enjoyed watching the trees move in the wind. So sweet! After she went down tonight, Eli and I layed a blanket in the grass and ate strawberries. Then, we played ring-around-the-roses in the grass and hunted lightening bugs. Chris was able to catch some. Eli LOVED holding them! I wish I could bottle up the past few nights and keep them fresh forever!
Now...back to that Elmo birthday cake!............

Weird times at the theatre

2009-06-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

While I want to write about the adventures of today, I really want to write about what happened (one of two things). The kids, a cousin and her kids, my brother, and I went to the kids movie...$2 each! While in line, I noticed a lady in line that I use to "know." By "know" I mean use to sing in the choir with, went to the same Bible study, went to the same college (although not at the same time), and many more random connections. Then, I saw two other ladies and their children...that are all from the above mentioned ways that I know them. I didn't approach lady #1 in line because, frankly, there were a zillion kids and it was SO hot. I was focused on keeping my kids cool and calm while in line.
So, in we go to the line to get refreshments. I knew popcorn would keep the big boy occupied for a while. Anyhow, lady #1 was two people in front of me. She was chatting with another lady, so, again, I didn't disturb her. She did, however, turn around about 6 times. But, I assumed she was looking for the other ladies or waiting for someone else to enter the theatre. But, there was clear eye contact. She even looked at my son! I thought that she might have no recognized me because I was with my brother versus husband.
Anyhow, I went on and got seats in the theatre while my brother waited in line for snacks. I went back to help him. As I approached the line, lady #1 watched me walk up to the line...but just turned her head and pretended to not see me! How bizarre! It was so obvious she saw me, and so obvious she did not want to talk to me! Did she think I was going to invite her out to dinner? Did she think I would wonder why I wasn't invited with her group? Last I checked, anyone can go to the theatre! Mercy sakes! A "hi" isn't that hard...especially when you're an outgoing person...oh, and know the person 3 feet from you!
So, I told my cousin how weird it was that lady #1 didn't acknowledge me. After the movie, we went to lunch and my cousin said the same thing happened with her and lady #1 as we were leaving the theatre! Eye contact and all!
There's a low percent chance that lady #1 will read this post. Lady #1 - it was good to see you and your beautiful many children today at the theatre. Sure wish I could've told you that in person. Next time, don't be afraid to say "hi!" As the movie said "A person is a person, no matter how small they are."